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Radio Free Burrito Episode Thirty-Eight: You Really Shouldn’t Listen To This

wil, · Categories: Games

RFB LogoBy Grabthar’s Hammer, it’s a new RFB!

This week, Anne is back to discuss our dog who eats her own shit and then throws up her own shit in our house, the flock of wild parrots we want to set on fire, going to Kings games, playing games on Tabletop, and our Foundation to Increase Awesome.

You should not listen to this episode, though, because the story of Marlowe eating her own shit and then throwing it up in our house is really, really awful. You have been warned.




Direct Link: 038-RFB

59 Responses to “Radio Free Burrito Episode Thirty-Eight: You Really Shouldn’t Listen To This”

  1. Nicolas says:

    Greetings and thanks from France, and yes even here we listen to your words of wisdom (hmm). (I’m using the embedded while at work, so chut, don’t tell my boss :P)

  2. Justin says:

    Laughing my ass off at work listening to this because my wife and I have dealt with dogs and pukeshits. It’s the single worst thing in the world. Awesome show, keep it up.

  3. Wolfe says:

    Thank you for all the content you put on the internet. Your honesty is refreshing. Your wife is hilarious you should keep her on the podcast. Plus my six year old son loves Tabletop. Keep doing what you do it brings happiness to my little familes corner of the world.

  4. You and Anne should write a book on Nerd/Less-nerd marriage.

  5. Tristan Crabb says:

    Love the show Wil! Keep them coming you’re like the guy who everyone wants to have as their friend everything you do in your career is entertaining! Keep up the good work!

    From one of your many Canadian fans


  6. Ozzy says:

    I found the dog shit story less disgusting than your bad metal band puns. ;P

    Please keep this double-barrel podcast up (or at least bring back Anne regularly, you’re both awesome.

  7. Rebecca says:

    Hey Wil! I just discovered your podcast last week for ep 37, and I am totally in love with it! Please keep the embed because it allows me to easily listen while at work. I loved this episode with you and Anne, I was dying with silent laughter, and was seriously in danger of busting out and annoying my whole office. I look forward to next week’s podcast!

  8. Robert Medrano says:

    Love the show. Hate it when my dog (still miss him) use to do the same thing. When he started making that sound, it seemed like there was no way to move fast enough to get to him. Look forward to the next podcast.

  9. Thiefree says:

    I don’t know if it was the kings, your fitbit, or just the fact that it was midnight, but: THAT DEEP RUMBLE, SIR. My apologies to all three Anne Wheatons.

    Copyright is absolutely broken. So much do that we’ve had to forge creative commons out of the ashes of our own disappointment. It offends me that the middlemen have so successfully planted themselves between creator and audience. Culture was meant to be a conversation; it was never supposed to be a means of controlling the arts. Obscene that a certain mouse can outlive his inventor by so long.

  10. Cora Prazeres says:

    I am sooo sooo sooo happy you’ve decided to bring the podcast back to life!!! I’ve missed it!
    Despite the recommendation on the title I did listen to this episode… and it is one of my favorites so far! (no I am not fond of disgusting things, just to be clear)
    Anne is brilliant! I loved her participation on both episodes.
    My vote for Anne as regular!
    Thanks to both of you for taking the time to make us happy 🙂
    Cheers from a Brazilian in England!

  11. PatG says:

    Hey Wil, the next time you are in Ottawa drop by and I’ll tell you the story of our dog, the Christmas goose and the bowl full of rendered goosefat. It has a very explosive ending. Aren’t pets great!

    Great episode as usual.

  12. Missy says:

    This show was so great! They all are, but this one had me in tears when Anne dry heaved & your laughter after. Please keep her coming back~and thanks a ton for bring the burrito back. I always listen til the very end of each episode.

  13. Clint says:

    “Hey, cool, somebody brought hummus to the office today. I should go get some of that. Hey, cool, there’s a new Burrito up today. I should listen to that while I eat this hummus and work on this work-thing.”

    So went my thoughts today. Shame on me for not taking episode titles seriously (or reading the accompanying text in advance, I suppose).

    Five stars, sir.

  14. Jamison says:

    503-IG88 with a bell ring, restored my faith in humanity. Thank you.

    Future topic idea… love to hear more on your thoughts on D&D 5e. Partway into the starter campaign myself with a group.

  15. Nicholas says:

    Star Trek pajamas make sex as fast as Warp Speed. You’ll see stars in your eyes while having sex.

  16. Doug B says:

    Wil, it is GREAT to hear your voice again! Keep it up, sir. The world needs you. 🙂

  17. Kelly says:

    Podcast bonding moment! As soon as Anne started to describe the noise, both my husband and I started making “the sound”. Whoever hears it first has to clean it! A++ would listen again.

  18. Brandon says:

    Great episode!

  19. JP says:

    Hey Wil,
    Love what you’re doing
    Love the podcast

    but please PLEASE mix the stereo tracks from your recorder into one mono track. Everytime I listen with headphones in both ears I constantly feel like I’m going deaf on one ear.
    Releasing it as 96k mono also cuts down on file size so… yeah

    Greetings from Germany!

  20. Samantha says:

    Can I just be completely honest for a minute? I listen to this podcast every time a new episode comes out. I listen to it when I wake up in the morning and when I go to bed at night. I am IN LOVE with this podcast. It’s another amazing thing that you have created, Wil. I love everything about it. The humor, the stories, the unique music… It’s awesome. I’m so happy you decided to start this back up again. It’s easily became one of my favorite things to listen to. I listen to every episode from beginning to the very end. I LOVE RADIO FREE BURRITO! I also love it when you have Anne on the show! You two are so hilarious (and adorable) when put together! I hope that you continue on with Radio Free Burrito (I would miss it too much if you didn’t). Wil, you may or may not remember me, but my Twitter handle is @Sam_is_Rocking. I love this podcast and every thing you’ve done with it. 🙂

  21. Derrick says:

    I began listening to your pod cast some time in 2010 and I am absolutely thrilled that you picked it up again.

  22. Andre says:

    I listened to the whole thing. I always do.

    Certain parts were a little rough (e.g. “soft serve”), but the lunch burrito didn’t object too vigorously. #winning

    Anne could use a visit from the non-judgmental ninja. The “fake geek girl” label makes me sad and shouldn’t be a thing. Nobody gets all of the references or is into all of the things, and that is fine.

    For a moment, I did wonder which Doctor Who episode(s) she’d seen… It doesn’t matter, though. It’s okay.

    Thanks for being awesome.

  23. DanMcD says:

    That was a very funny story, although I certainly feel your pain with regard to the cleanup. As a fellow homebrewer, here’s something you might find amusing. My dog got into my barley once and ate about half a pound of crystal malt before it caught up with him. Cleaned his little doggy guts right out. We found splatters all over the house because we were at work when it happened. He was having poop emergencies for days until it all ran through his system.

    Thank you for the comment that Doctor Who is not for everyone. I’m a big fan of the Doctor, but nerds need to be honest with ourselves: nothing is for everyone, and just because someone doesn’t like one thing that you like doesn’t make them any less of a nerd than you are. (Although I’m old enough to remember when being a nerd was a bad thing. Life is strange.)

    That said, you also opined that Anne simply hadn’t seen the right episodes yet. Last fall I co-wrote an article for a friend’s website about Doctor Who, specifically about what are the best episodes for new viewers. It’s available at

    Normally I wouldn’t ask you to read something I wrote just because, but since you mentioned it on the podcast I thought maybe you’d find it relevant. Or perhaps not. In either case, it’s there if you (or anyone else) would like to have a look.

  24. Michael Link says:

    Quite enjoyed the podcast. =) Would love to hear more about your 5e D&D session.

  25. Jeff says:

    I’m decidedly nerd but I don’t get the appeal of Dr Who.
    But I love BSG, FF, SW, ST, LOTR, etc.

    I guess we all have ‘gaps’ in our nerdiness.

    I’m also married to a “non-geek girl” who is finding her own way in her nerdiness. She likes Game of Thrones and is coming around on tabletop games. Hasn’t played a video game since Super Mario Bros 1 though. =/

  26. Bri says:

    I think the combination of you and Anne are fantastic for this. If I didn’t know better I’d say you were married or something 😀

    These news episodes the last couple of weeks are fun to listen to, even if the Marlowe discussions are barfworthy.

    Thanks for making me laugh.

  27. Yeah, the podcast is regular again! Must be all that optical fiber. (Ding!) Enjoyed this episode, as usual & it was really fun to have Anne participate, this should be a regular thing as well. I couldn’t stay long (business trip in Calgary), but I did visit Lake Louise in the winter time & it was gorgeous indeed!

    I did listen to the whole podcast, of course. Just like I always stays until the very end of movies at the theatre.

    Cheers from Montréal, Canada.

  28. Dave says:

    I look forward to each Monday for another dose of great entertainment. Keep them coming…

  29. Pradyumn says:

    This episode was awesome. Anne does a really good impression of a heaving dog. I listened to the episode while eating breakfast.

    The rat present was great, your cat is awesome and caring.

  30. Hi Wil,

    From a Radio Free Burrito fan in Belgium: Keep up the good work. Great Podcast episode (and so was the previous one!) They keep getting funnier. If you are ever in Belgium, you must let me know, we will visit some great breweries..
    Sir, my esteemed regards.

  31. Omar Metcalf says:

    Hi Wil Wheaton, I expect you’ll be too busy to see this comment, but just in case, I wish say I have greatly enjoyed your RFB podcasts since I discovered your “experimental” episode the other day. Just one bug-bear: I was inspired to try to listen to the previous episodes, 0 through to 34 but for some reason, perhaps via something I’m doing wrong or something wrong with my iPhone/laptop I can only hear about 2 mins when the recording either just stops or starts over, just as I’m getting into what you’re saying/playing. Any advice/ideas? No worries if your schedule don’t give you time to reply, I totally get that.
    Omar Metcalf, a fan of your general awesomeness.

  32. Brian W says:

    God, the puns! Good to have you back podcasting, man.
    I seem to remember among all the stuff I digested today that you asked “how much is too much?” I’m planted in a cubicle 40/168 hours/week, and don’t much care who hears what, so keep on putting out whatever feels right.
    Kudos on actually balancing volume levels such that, when Anne or presumably other guests are on, I don’t have to choose between missing the guest entirely or having you boom “SHITCOCK!” through my department. You might be amazed at how many people never seem to grasp the importance of compression.

  33. Jack Birkinshaw says:

    Hi Wil,

    I just discovered your podcast today that I listened to on the bus on my way to a board game night that I was inspired to go to because of my discovery of Tabletop last week.

    This has coincided with me being the happiest I’ve been in a long time and it has actually really helped me deal with my own mental health issues.

    So thank you so much 🙂

  34. Nicole G says:

    I loved this episode! Although I am slightly concerned that none of it was too gross for me to hear. I’m thrilled to have regular episodes of the Burrito again.

  35. Jess says:

    I’ve been wanting to say how happy I am RFB is back! I know you’ve been busy, but it’s a delight to have you sharing your music and ideas with us.
    I’m glad I wasn’t eating when I listened to the dog story. You did warn us. It was still kind of funny.
    Thank you for the Robyn Cage intro. The track started as the T came up from Cambridge, headed into Boston during the morning commute. I was knitting my best friend’s sweater, and the sun struck my skin and the yarn so brightly after so many minutes of gloom and dark. Thank you for helping me etch that memory.

  36. Phil says:

    Holy cow, Robyn Cage is amazing, thanks Wil!

    Maybe you would like to consider using to enhance the audio quality for the episodes. Especially the leveling can be improved for people like me listening to the podcast in noisy environments (in my case it’s in the car).

  37. Jeremy says:

    Hey, Wil! First time listener, first time commenter. I enjoyed the podcast, and was wondering where you managed to find the old radio broadcasts you mentioned near the end of your show. A link would be great, or just a point in a general direction. I’m interested in listening to the old broadcasts and future episodes from you.

  38. Jess says:

    I picked up Robyn Cage’s album and have been doing the infinite loop thing, but I think you cherry picked the best song of the lot and it’s just so… ::augh!:: GOOD. I keep imagining someone putting a fanvid together for Arsonist/Thief for Leverage, particularly with the line “It doesn’t matter if it’s real or a con.”
    As is the way of things, the songs you need find you when you need ’em and I needed this one this week. <3

  39. Icawn says:

    This is my first time listening to the podcast and I loved it. Keep them coming. Also, thanks for introducing me to Robyn Cage, I am going to pick up her album.

  40. Ari says:

    Love the show man, keep em coming. Also, where is this damn Newcastle you plugged? I can’t find it anywhere even the fancy beer stores.

  41. Natasha says:

    Hi Wil,
    Just wanted to say, this episode was grossly entertaining. I would like to add my vote to 5th edition as a future topic. Also, you clearly didn’t read any DA:I spoilers… but I wont say more.
    Thanks for the episode, I hope they keep coming!
    P.S. Yay for spouses not getting jealous about trying to get laid by fictional characters. I <3 Cullen!

  42. Brian says:

    Thanks so much Wil for each and every podcast they provide much needed laughter, insight and joy to my commute each week.

  43. Molly says:

    Hey Wil, I would like to also register my vote for more of you and Anne. You’re obviously great together and have great fun.
    I had dogs in my house for my entire childhood and I’ve no memory of dogshitvomits. I’ll have to ask my mam about that. Or maybe I won’t.
    Anyway keep up the most excellent work.

  44. MTW3ESQ says:

    I was holding off posting this to see if anyone else would stoop so low, but I have to admit as soon as I heard the Marlowe story, 3 words popped into my head: The Canine Centipede…

    And now you won’t get that image out of your head, ever… 😉

  45. nikki justice says:

    Love all that you do. My favorite being tabletop. Keep up the great podcasts and youtube videos!

  46. Joel Becker says:

    I did not heed the warning and listened. To the whole episode even. hurk But I made it through all right. I listen to the episode on my Nexus 5 when I’m out driving around without my daughters in the car. Because…ya know… hurk I mostly listen to this and Nerd Poker and some of the Nerdist eps. Oh and Serial. Duh. hurk

  47. Heather Durham says:

    Your works are great. Please keep writing, posting and publishing them. I have sincerely enjoyed your podcast, my husband loves your blog and Tabletop has brought our family closer together, even my 5-year-old loves it and cant wait for the next episode to come out. Keep doing that thing you do!

  48. Tom says:

    Thanks for the podcast 🙂 Started listening from the experimental episode that you put out to “make a new thing”. Great attitude!

    Keep up the good work!
    Enjoyed reading your biography and now onto the podcasts (as well as Tabletop w/ my kids when time permits)

  49. Thank you Wil! I love the Radio Free Burrito and have enjoyed it the last several weeks and will continue to do so for as long as you provide them.

  50. BassBone says:

    I just started listening to Radio Free Burrito and I love it. I know that episodes before 30 are available for download through the website, but is there a way for them to be available through the RSS feed to make it easier for my podcast Android app to get them?

  51. Jamie Jones says:

    Yah! The burrito’s back!
    In honour of it I’m eating a burrito while listening to the episode about your Canadian trip.
    (And yes the spelling of honour is correct – I’m Canadian)

    See you at Ottawa Comic Con this summer!

  52. Nicholas says:

    Enjoyed this episode of RFB. I listened all the way to the end, and I always listen all the way to the end. Are you still working on 11001001 or Memories of The Futurecast Volume 2? Hope your January has gone by very well so far, and here’s to a February filled with Magic(The Card Game).

  53. Dave says:

    Really been enjoying the shows and hope they continue to be a regular occurrence. I’m a late comer to the party having only caught onto the podcasts a week or so ago but have listed to every show all the way to the end and can’t get enough. Not sure how many UK listener you have but you can count me in the mix

  54. Luke says:

    I’m just here to say that I really like this podcast. I do not necessarily know why but I find it both relaxing and uplifting and I’m just a big fan. So please keep making these things if it isn’t too much trouble.

  55. zionazure says:

    Thank you for introducing me to Lights Out Everybody. I can’t get enough. I’ve listened to about 15 shows so far.

  56. Scott Heron says:

    Freaking.. Sweet.. Thanks Nerd God!!

  57. Amy says:

    Just wanted to pop in and say I was missing this week’s episode. I hope all is well and you’re simply busy with other awesome endeavours! Cheers.

  58. MIchelle Garest says:

    Please keep it up! I enjoy having new Radio Free Burrito in my life!

  59. Melanie says:

    I usually do not leave comments, but you asked people to stop by and say howdy to let you know if we were enjoying the podcast and since I’ve been a listener for so long I couldn’t refuse. Love Radio Free Burrito and missed it terribly when it went on hiatus. It’s great to have you back, always enjoyable. I love your stories, the fun old commercials and weird songs you find, everything, even vomiting dog stories! You’ll always have a listener out here in Connecticut 🙂 Incidentally I also LOVED memories of the future cast, any chance for a podcast of volume 2??