RADIO FREE BURRITO dot COM

an interesting podcast from your old pal, Wil wheaton

Home »

Radio Free Burrito 43: my next mistake

wil, · Categories: Film, Games, Music

RFB LogoIt’s a full episode, just like the old days … but mostly I just talk about myself and some stuff that’s been on my mind, so you probably don’t want to listen to this one.

And for you non-embed folks: 043-RFB.

Bye!

156 Responses to “Radio Free Burrito 43: my next mistake”

  1. Thom P says:

    I was really excited to see a new podcast pop up just as I was about to start making burritos. Finished putting contents into bowls as the jaunty kazoo music started!

    It really sucks to hear about the way the internet treats you and Chris. It’s because of your podcast long ago that I discovered Nerdist and really between the two of you,

    • Thom P says:

      Ahhh, stupid iPhone, bumped the post button while typing…where was I?

      Because of you guys, I’ve really embraced my “nerdiness” and really started to feel like I don’t need to entirely keep it to myself (even started to get my wife into nerdy things!)

      Thanks for the new podcast recommendations. I always look forward to new shows!

      • Jochen says:

        Yeay, same for me here.

        I think the thing that brought me into “geek & sundry” was the guild from Felicia on youtube.

        From there on i explored through TableTop all kind of great stuff. There were always cool guys as guests on the show I didn’t know at the time. It started it all for me: Warehouse 13, Buffy, Angel, Firefly, Doctor Who and playing tabletop games with my family on a regular basis.

        I didn’t watched Star Trek before, so I only knew you from your apperiences on Big Bang. But because of your work online I discovered it as well.

        Since then I read your books, your blog and listen to your podcast on a regular basis.

        I like the funny stories, the serious ones as well as your movie/music/… recommondations. Thanks for “Squirrel Nut Zippers” 😉 and all the other interesting stuff sharing with us!

        Last but not least: you are an inspiration; the way you are dealing with depression as well as your work as an creator is amazing!

        I am truly sorry for the negative stuff you have to deal with. Don’t let it bother you too much. And keep going the way you seem to always do.

        Keep up the good work! You really enrich a lot of peoples lifes!

      • Jen says:

        Same here. It’s also really cool to hear how you are coping with depression. I need ideas, because I’m all out. It’s nice not to feel alone. Stay strong and big virtual hugs!

  2. debbie pitts says:

    Hi, I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed listening to this today. I’ll have to check out the rest of your podcasts now.
    I think it takes a lot of courage to be honest with yourself. I hope your vacation is everything you need it to be.

  3. Ross Jenkins says:

    Great podcast man. The one podcast you mentioned, Lore, I love that show! I found it about a week ago. Astonishing Legends is another podcast that has some episodes along the same lines as lore. Anyway, great podcast and you sound like you are really hard on yourself. I for one don’t understand the hate. Since I seen you on Eureka I’m pretty confident in saying I’ve enjoyed everything I’ve seen you in. Chin up mate, keep calm and carry on

    • Ross Jenkins says:

      Also, I picked up forbidden island after watching it on your tabletop show, awesome game man! My kids (7 and 8) loved it and it was really fun. Thanks for what you do

  4. kaciedilla says:

    I really enjoyed this episode. As much as I want this community to stay small and manageable so that we get the chance to interact with you over something meaningful (and vice versa), I wish more people listened to this. It’s a shame that anyone be harassed for simply being well known and this podcast is a perfect reminder that you are a real person just like us. I appreciate the things that you make and will continue to support you as long as you decide to make them. It’s largely because of your creations that I’ve owned my nerdiness and stopped giving a shit about what the gatekeepers have to say. Great episode, Wil. Thanks for sharing.

  5. Josh says:

    So I was walking thru the ether and this suddenly hit me in the face, and was a welcome occurrence.

    I cannot understand the gatekeeper ideology in nerd culture. Maybe as one of the geeks from the 80/90’s that was on the receiving end of swirlies, super wedgies, verbal harassment, and intimation I find it very easy to be inclusive.

    Wil thank for your frank talk about your struggles and issues. I was in my 30’s and finially realized I have a undiagnosed social anxiety disorder I have struggled with it for years and still do. And maybe someday I will finally get around to dealing with it. :-\

    (wow I finally did hit post comment and not delete this…)

    • wil says:

      Goo on ya, Josh. Welcome to the family of folks who got help for our mental illnesses, so we can have happier and more fulfilling lives!

      • Josh says:

        any suggestion on who to see for it? Type of doctor or what have you?

        • wil says:

          I talked to a psychiatrist to get the right meds for my brain. I also talked with a psychologist to help me work through the issues I had (and have).

  6. Mike Gillespie says:

    I listened to your podcast for the first time, and really enjoyed it. It seems very brave for a celebrity to speak so candedly given that people might respond in different ways, but I’m sure the vast majority are on your side, since you seem like a genuinely nice person. I’m super excited to try the podcasts you’ve recommended, plus some of your earlier work. My day job is very serious, so the opportunity to escape with your stories and recommendations is appreciated very much.

  7. Carl says:

    I hate the whole gatekeeper mentality. Perhaps it’s because I’m an old school geek. Back when geekiness lined you up for bullying (at best), finding those with shared interests and passions, fellow geeks was beyond welcome. Hearing people proclaiming “you’re not geeky enough” is both absurd and frustrating.

    Oh, and Dude, thanks for the Leadbelly tune! My brain overlayed Nirvana with it, and it was awesome.

    Thanks for the new RFB. I love the journeys into new spaces, new artists and ideas. This is what I adore most about hanging with artists: explorations of the new, odd, brilliant and exciting.

  8. Jason says:

    (sorry this kinda goes on)
    First, please take an hour and sit down with your wife and talk it out, no TV no distractions just talk. I am sure she knows you better than any of us and most assuredly hasn’t been with you for 20ish years because your father was Albert Trotta in toy soldiers making you super important. I can’t express how cathartic I have found it to just talk things out with my wife, never realizing how much she didn’t know and how much she could help.

    Secondly, the magic community seems to have collected a larger than average proportion of the dredges of the geek society. I have found myself leaving several of my local game stores because of the acceptance of generally abusive behavior as “just part of the community.” As the people from LoadingReadyRun could tell you the Magic subreddit are full of people who are never happy and hate every new card in magic and every change. For some unless the cards are a Purple Lotus: 0 cost artifact that you tap and sack for any 4 mana, or a 10/10 indestructible Hexproof flyer for 5, they will think the cards suck and the people who presented them are “trying to hard” to make them seem good. There is a portion of the magic community who play only for one reason to beat other players and make them feel bad for losing, and are unable to deal with any situation other than that.

    Thirdly, if you watch the whole preview show, it wasn’t amazing. It wasn’t you or Ashly being “fake gamers” or “needing to get out of the way for the creators” because Mark Rosewater was just tripping all over himself the whole time as well. Wotc has been trying to figure out a better way to hype their new set for years and still haven’t found the right balance between entertainment and here are the cards look at them. Doug Beyer did pretty good but still stumbled and stammered a little trying to get out the story.

    Part of the problem with Magic previews/hype in general is that Wotc and many of the fans want it to be bigger than just a card game but fundamentally any story they create still has to server the mechanics of the game. A second problem that you got dropped in the middle of is that they are working four to six years ahead. Wotc has already finished the next twelve to eighteen months worth of story and cards but they have to remember what they can and can’t say about the current set based on the marketing approved spoiler calendar.

  9. Carl says:

    Oh, and a thought to the logo crafter Marc, let us view the site. It’s the internet, all things here are living and changing. It’s a great thing and you’d probably find many of us cheering you on.

  10. Malcolm Walker says:

    I really enjoyed this episode. Looking forward to further projects and interesting things.

    I think you’re right about PAX – the show isn’t the same as it was in 2007. I think it has suffered from success – now that it’s harder to get badges, more of the attendees are now the privileged few who managed to get passes. That being said, I think we can still make it a welcoming place when there’s something that we can share there. A story, a show, a game, an experience. Make something!

    I thought for sure that the Leadbelly song was found on the O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack. (It isn’t). Guess I had that mixed up with the Nirvana unplugged album. Somehow. It’s a good song.

  11. Jeremy Chudley says:

    Thank you once again for the podcast.
    Sharing so much personal information helps others and they are informative and fun. I have encouraged my 17 year old daughter who suffers at times from some issues to listen and learn.
    Sadly we live in an age where it is easy to fire and forget, rage and return, there is no internal censor on a lot of people, being faceless helps.
    It is impossible for anyone to please everyone, the most important thing is to be true to yourself, sadly that is a hard lesson to learn and implement.
    Look at me getting all philosophical at six am uk time.
    Stay as you are, recoginise your mistakes, we all make them and be yourself.
    Thanks for the podcasts I have enjoyed them all.
    One 51 year old nerd checking out to play a game.

  12. Lars says:

    Just finished listening to the episode and figured I’d drop a line saying I really enjoyed it. I really like the style of the podcast of it being a mix of you sharing cool stuff you found/like in general and the working-through aspect of the podcast. For me at least, as someone who over-analyzes everything and also has anxiety I find it both interesting and comforting to hear how other people think about their lives. That is, if they do it in a somewhat coherent and entertaining way, which you do, so thank you for that!

    Also, I wanted to say that I was/am particularly interested in your reflections on how to act or just relate to people being shitty to women (or for that matter, LGBT people etc) in different forums. Just in the sense of, what is the best thing to do – when should you just stay out of the way, when should you actively support and when should you give (reasonable) criticism

    Anyway, looking forward to more RFB’s!

  13. Fred H says:

    First time listening to this podcast and I really enjoyed it. I can only speak for me, but I miss you being at PAX. Magic isn’t really my thing so I didn’t go to the event at prime, but it seems like something is missing without you and/or Felicia there. It is like some of my nerd family isn’t getting along. I know it isn’t fair putting that on you.

    Not really putting my words together very well, oh well.

    Keep being awesome Wil.

  14. Wanda Woman says:

    Thank, Wil. I’m definitely going to check out You Must Remember This; that’s right smack dab in the middle of my interests.

    You’re absolutely right about how nasty people can be on the internet. I don’t understand the need to follow someone through their various web channels to tell them how much they suck. What sad, unproductive people they are, smearing their negativity all over other people’s internet walls.

    Don’t let them get inside your head, Wil, to borrow one of your own lines. You seem to have a really strong need to be liked, but there’s no point in trying to win over the arseholes. It wastes your time and, unfortunately, does not annoy the arseholes.

  15. Brandon B says:

    There are so many points I could touch on after listening to the episode, but I’ll stick with what hit me the most.

    When you spoke about working on other peoples projects, and not focusing on your own, I knew exactly what you meant. For quite some time I’ve been going through this same struggle. Over the past six or so years I have been involved in several indie films in various degrees: acting, sound, camera operator, set design, etc. It has always been my dream to be a director, but I kept telling myself that I needed to immerse myself the projects of others to gain some experience and knowledge. Sadly, I have felt unfulfilled and keep making excuses as to why I don’t create my own thing.

    Again, a lot of it is excuses on my part. Like you said: wanting things to be perfect. (Which will never happen if I keep waiting) Some of it is also my own depression and anxiety issues.

    I’ll be 35 in November and a week and a half ago I finally opened up to my doctor about suffering from these things since my early teenage years. I’ve never hid my mental illness, but I’ve also a hard time truly opening up about it and saying I needed help.

    Most of my life I’ve be scared to have to rely on medication for my problems, and just as panicked that it would affect my creativity. Stifling or changing the way I write, or the art I create.

    My wife and step daughter are the two most important things to me in my life. Making steps to improve myself doesn’t just help me, but gives them the man that they deserve. I’m so lucky to have their love and support, as I’m sure you can relate to.

    One other thing I wanted to touch on was your open love of Taylor Swift, and how you felt almost ashamed of admitting it. Something that stuck with me for some time now was the words of Dave Grohl on an episode of Nerdist. He basically said he had no “guilty pleasures” that he didn’t believe in that. Why should be feel guilty about the things he love? And that really hit me so perfectly. Why not embrace what you love? Fuck what others think of it.

    I apologize this is so long, just had so much to say. Thanks for this amazing episode. It truly touched, and spoke to me.

    • Elizabeth says:

      I was thinking of Dave Grohl’s Nerdist episode while listening to this too. I found Nerdist through Wil and Radio Free Burrito, so that comes full-circle nicely for me. His ‘fuck that guilty shit and just love what you love’ led me to Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga as well, because the only thing holding me back previously was a teenage-prejudice hangover, but it’s a damn long time since I was a teenager.

    • Stacy says:

      I find that when I want to be healthy without meds, it’s a pretty sure sign I need more meds. The thinking is so fear-based and judgemental: I won’t be “myself”, suffering is essential for creative work so if I’m not suffering I’ll be worthless, other people have worse feelings so I shouldn’t take up medical or mental health services. In my last round I was equally convinced I was too broken to be fixed, I would likely be hospitalized immediately, and also be dismissed as not crazy enough to help. And all these outcomes would happen at the same time.

      When I finally explained this to my husband and a close friend, the extreme inconsistency and irrationality of my thinking finally came into focus, and two weeks later the increased meds stabilized my sleep, cleared out the crazy thinking, and left me a little embarrassed that I’d been suffering for 8 months when all I needed was a 10mg boost of cipralex.

      And after another 2 weeks my libido, which had gone on an 8 year strike, suddenly reappeared and I found out that libido loss is not an inevitable side effect (as a side effect it is supposed to be temporary and only occurs in 20% of patients) but was really a sign that I was under medicated for 8 years.

      For me, the biological (sleeping, eating) comes back in line first; then the thinking improves. And when both the physical and mental are at peak functioning, well, that’s the recipe needed for libido.

      So I say, take the meds. If they don’t seem to work right away, don’t give up, you probably need more and most doctors start on a very low dose. Track your sleep and appetite at first, not how you feel. The improvement in feeling comes second. That’s why they warn you about an increase in suicidal ideation as an initial side effect. If you’ve been passively suicidal, you now have the energy to act on those thoughts, and you’ll still have the thoughts for a few weeks.

      If you see you are sleeping better, getting up in the morning easier, actually wanting to eat, remembering to shower and brush your teeth, awesome. The meds are working!

      After that your thinking will be able to shift. This is when counselling is helpful, because you may still have the habits of being mean to yourself, but now those thoughts are less convincing and easier to correct, especially if you have to say them out loud to someone else.

      My latest learning: don’t give up your libido as some kind of devil’s bargain, where no libido better than being depressed or anxious and miserable. Take more meds, and see if that gives you back life’s full meal deal.

      Ironically the new “female Viagra” is a dopamine stimulator – just like most anti depressants.

      And that’s my very long PSA.

  16. Chris Hopkinson says:

    Hi, Wil
    Because you asked. I listened and enjoyed this podcast (as I have a number of other ones you have been a part of). To paraphrase something you mentioned on the supplemental Missionlog Podcast you were on, you can count me as someone who’s generally enjoyed your work, and not someone who felt the need to be a douche on the internet.

    Also, I just recently (literally earlier today, hours before listening to this podcast) i found out about the Lore podcast, you are absolutely right, it is very good.

    Finally, thank you for tabletop, and tomorrow night is Pathfinder night, so I’ll definitely be playing more games. 😉

  17. martin keating says:

    Thanks for the podcast. Always look forward to these.

    I’ve recently (about a year) gotten into wargaming and was initially surprised about the venom that the internet would spew forth whenever anything changed with the rules/model design etc. I found it tiresome, so found myself just being a hobbyist. Unsure how I would handle that venom being directed at me.

    Always enjoy the content you and the folks at Geek and Sundry put out. Enjoy your break.

  18. ChemErik says:

    I loved the talk on having people from both “mainstream” and nerd culture not being accepting of some people. I’ve had that most of my life. I played a few sport and was always the nerd/geek on the team because when I wasn’t doing athletics, I wanted to read sci-fi and fantasy, role play (both computer and P&P), build stuff, or work on homework for math and science classes. But there also seemed to always be those in the geek crowd who didn’t like me because I played football or was a swimmer or knew the star running back. Ultimately, the jock crowd was far worse to me and I went through a period of being fat and lazy. Thankfully, I’ve discovered distance running as an adult and I’m an Engineer where I find plenty of great people to work with. BTW, distance runners are some of the most accepting people I’ve met..

  19. Jessica says:

    This is probably my favorite RFB yet, in part because I so appreciate your willingness to just speak frankly, to be so open and honest. It means so much to me, and others like me, suffering from similar mental health issues, and just similar levels of frustration of trying to live a Creative Life.

    I’m so glad you like The Memory Palace, I absolutely love it. You (and your listeners) might also really enjoy The Truth (which is more fictional story telling, but really well-produced).

  20. Rachel says:

    You’ve got a pretty special gift, Wil. Look at all these people reaching out. This is amazing. Thanks for doing what you do. Have been a fan for a really long time and I just wish I’d been vocal back in the mid 2000s!

  21. Aaron says:

    Is there a specific Portland micro brew you desire that I could have the pleasure of bringing to you at Rose City Comic Con?

    Also thanks for sharing the Lead Belly song. Always love listening to old folk blues, it warms the heart better than chicken soup. Elmore James is a personal favorite.

  22. Colin Fraser says:

    Thank you for this episode, Wil. I look up to you as a gamer, father and all together good human being. I am also a big fan of Chris Hardwick and both of your podcasts are listened to immediately as they show up in my stream. Thank you for your generous time.
    I am also a sufferer of dysthymia and I would never be able to take it if thousands of strangers helped validate my depression, I would need a Klonopin the size of a bearclaw to leave my house.

    I’m hoping that the Internet will normalize in time and while trolls revel in their power to spew their crap without consequence, I am encouraged by the fact that I have started going to therapy and becoming a better husband and father because of your advice. Podcasts have given me a ring of pseudo-friends that I can hang out with on a regular basis and that’s awesome.

    Please know for every person out there willing to hate you, there’s another one who you are making a world of difference to.

    P.S.: I love everything about Titansgrave. Thank you.

  23. Anne says:

    Thank you for this podcast. I needed to hear how important it is and how lucky I am to create things. I look forward to your creations. I love You Must Remember This and Memory Palace, thank you for pointing me toward Lore and TV Crimes.

  24. Stephen Staver says:

    I really appreciate these episodes.
    I enjoy the conversational feel.
    Thanks for everything you do, Wil!

  25. Rick says:

    Wil,

    Thank you for writing and talking about your thoughts and experiences, I really appreciate it! I’m looking forward to seeing what you make next!

  26. Rick says:

    About getting older, and thinking that the PAX crowd may be turning on you, here’s what I think:

    1) Depression lies. Not to say that the ambivalence and/or hostility you were feeling wasn’t there, but depression will magnify it all out of proportion.

    2) Some geeks are just plain jealous of your success. They see you on youtube playing these fantastic games with awesome people, and they’re hurt and angry because you didn’t invite them, too. (I actually think the whole “geeks are jealous of you” issue has been going on since you were on STNG, but that’s a whole nother conversation.)

    3) Sometimes the geeks’ hunger can’t be satisfied, no matter how much you create. They will always want more. This is especially true in the geek culture, because there are a lot of addictive personalities there.

    And despite all this, you keep going, keep creating, and keep making these wonderful podcasts… you’re a braver man than I am!

  27. Hey Wil! Just wanted to say that I got home from my Saturday RPG, where I ran a true and proper D&D system game for the first time in forever (we usually run off a conversion I did to the Storyteller system) and saw that iTunes had given me this episode of RFB. It made me giddy, as I’ve missed listening to your podcasts; they’re among my favorite that I listen to, bar none.

    Also worth mentioning; as DM, I totally Wheaton’d it and rolled no less than five 1’s in one combat. Yeah, it was pretty impressive.

    Anyway, I seriously JUST mentioned to my friends on Facebook how much I’d been digging You Must Remember This and it’s great to hear I’m not the only one. I’m still early in but as a student of old Hollywood history, I love the hell out of it. The Judy Garland is my favorite so far (I’m only about eight eps in) and I’m super-looking forward to the Manson set. Gonna check out Lore now too, it seems right up my alley.

    When I heard about the reaction from the Magic players at PAX and otherwise, I got pretty incensed on your and Ashly’s behalf. That’s complete bullshit and you guys shouldn’t have to put up with it any more than Taylor Swift or anyone else. I’m not what I consider a journalist (no degree, no “official” reporting cred) but I am part of the internet reporting world and an opinion columnist and it drives me insane the way those in my profession who are far more skilled, trained and prominent than I treat people, celebrities and otherwise. The fans are as bad with their vitriol (often worse) but I always feel like it wouldn’t get even close to the same level of traction without journalists to fan the flames, which they usually seem to do for web traffic. We as the media put our own work out there and get flamed for it too, albeit in much, MUCH less strident ways than people like you, Chris, Felicia, Anita and the rest do. The point is that we don’t like the hate when it hits us, we should be able to have some goddamn empathy for people who are in much brighter spotlights than us. That being said, I’m glad to hear that the majority of the responses were positive and hope you take a lot of solace in that.

    I thought I would share a story with you, because I hoped it might help to combat the negativity that you felt from the PAX fuckers. In April of last year, my birth mother reconnected with me for the first time since I was born. It was done after years of searching on her part, and it was easier for her to accomplish thanks to Facebook, part of the glorious thing called internet that so many people violate by using as a method for abuse. We have become very close friends since she found me, and you had a part in that — a small part, but a part nonetheless.

    One of the ways we started spending time together in order to get to know each other was by going to movies weekly. I have a deep passion for the art form and it’s what I generally write about. As we did so, she began to open up to her geeky side a bit more and we found that we had a lot of the same tastes. Last September we went to Rose City Comic-Con, and one of the photo ops I decided I wanted us to do was with you. Before that we went to your panel and got to hear you talk. She was amazed at listening to you talk about your struggles with depression and being a father, and by the time we were in line for the photo op, she was more excited about your picture than the other one we were going to do. That whole con was one of the best times we’ve had together so far and it did a lot to bring us closer together. She’s since read Just a Geek and we’re going again this year, and she is (and I am, of course) looking forward to your signing session.

    Now, obviously I’m not saying that we wouldn’t have become close friends if we hadn’t seen you talk or gotten a picture with you, but I can say that you were a part of one of our best times in the first six months of getting to know each other. And she comes over for semi-monthly tabletop board game nights as well, which obviously have been influenced by TableTop. So thank you, very deeply, for that and I can’t wait to see you at RCCC!

  28. Stu says:

    Hi Wil,

    I have been a late comer to the podcast scene, although a long time nerd (i was going to cons in 1978 when i was 13 years old). I want you to know that although i loved the Wil Wheaton Project, and i love you in the TBBT, what i really love is these podcasts and your blogs. I am not a gamer, i tend more towards the movies/pop culture part of nerddom in general and Batman specifically, but i really enjoy what you are saying. You are a good guy, you think the big thoughts and i really look forward to what you create next.

  29. Elizabeth says:

    In every one of your not-a-Radio-Free-Burrito episodes, where you talked about needing to make a thing (even though you didn’t), I thought I really need to make a thing too. A lot of the podcasts I’ve been listening to lately have been synergistically talking around the theme of “Make a Thing” and “Be Creative” and “Fuck that shit, do Something”.

    So I did.

    I made a blog that basically is me naval-gazing about my anxiety issues and how to not let them stop me do the stuff I want to do, but at the same time by writing about that shit it clears the writing blockage to make creative things that I actually want to do.

    And the naval-gazery is really helping me deal with the anxiety, so, thank you.

  30. James says:

    It is interesting listening to someone – who you would probably like, and are invested in doing well – eloquently and genuinely talk about their shit.

  31. Ashley says:

    I appreciate how frank and honest you are about, well, everything. I just got Gloom to play with friends this weekend because I liked the TableTop episode so much. We decided to try the Cthulhu Gloom since my husband is a Lovecraftian scholar/fanboy (no really, he wrote his dissertation about Lovecraft’s Modernist Grotesque writing style).

    Also, thanks for the Leadbelly track. I hadn’t heard that one before. Made me miss the History of Jazz class I took whenever ago.

    Only a couple more weeks until I bottle my attempt at #w00tstout. I’ll let you know how it goes. 🙂

  32. Ashley says:

    Oh yeah, not that you need my permission, but I totally support your decision to go make stuff. It’s time. Don’t feel bad about making time to do that either. It’s important to help you feel like yourself. virtual high five

  33. Geison says:

    Just telling, here on far away south forests of Brazil I am always listening to your Radio, thank you for sharing your knowledge and feelings! Kind regards!

  34. kirby says:

    two thing I liked best about this episode:

    1-the difficult admission of a kernel of truth in a mostly hurtful opinion. This is extremely difficult to do. You are such a grown up.

    2-the whole thing with talking about your inner journey dealing with creativity and criticism and awkwardness and all that stuff. It’s great because SO MANY FOLKS can learn from it. Not that you’re a guru or something, but just knowing that other folks have covered this ground, and here’s what worked for me and what didn’t work, and here’s what I did wrong, is SUPER VALUABLE. Thanks for sharing.

    OK, gotta go crack the rule book for Mice and Mystics – my son and I are going to try it today.

    keep it up Wil
    -Kirby

  35. James says:

    First time I have listened to the podcast. Wow you ramble! Worry not! I like that!

    It interests me – you come over as quite a humble and fragile guy. I too have suffered from Depression. Of course, it never bloody leaves you, you just keep fighting. Keep on fighting Wil, and I’ll keep you company on the way!

  36. David Earnest says:

    Glad to listen to the podcast. Gotta say if I really knew you and Chris I think we’d be friends. I know all to well the feeling of hatred as I experience that everyday at work, but it kinda makes me laugh knowing that just my mere existence can piss people off. Having Zoloft prescribed has helped me a lot. Oh and thanks for throwing out a random fact on WV, I live in Saint Albans about 2 hours from Suck Creek. And the podcast suggestions were amazing! I love Lore. Ok enough of my ramblings. Keep playing games and don’t ever not be a nerd.

  37. Stephanie says:

    Thanks for the interesting (DING!) podcast. I’m definitely going to check out the podcasts you’ve recommended.

  38. Andra says:

    Hi Wil, thanks for all the amazing work you do, and for sharing your very personal thoughts and feelings.

    Having been a geek/nerd for most of my life, I know what it’s like to be persecuted by my peers. Before listening to your podcast I had no idea that you battle with depression. Please know that you are awesome and give joy and wonder to so many people, myself included! I played D&D in highschool and university, and your GMing of Titansgrave has made me want to roleplay again. Might be difficult to find a GM who could live up to your example though 🙂

    Illegitimi non carborundum!

  39. ben says:

    The bets part about your podcasts -the fact that you think you are rambling is great. I think that lets you get the real story out, its off the cuff and (hopefully ) unedited. I like it as it feels like you are working things out while you are talking and it allows you to move on from things.

  40. James Hyman says:

    Hi Wil,
    I’ve been listening to this podcast for about half a year now and have been loving it. You’re a really inspiring figure for me as you’ve gone through much of the same stuff that I am going through or that I have been through and you certainly seem to have turned out great (though as I know that you are a lot like me, you probably don’t feel like you have).
    I’ve also been suffering from the same frustration with creative pursuits myself recently (well probably for a lot longer than recently would cover) and feel that you’re probably correct: the way to get past that is to make more things. So you’ve inspired me to go back to my own podcast and start that up again (well, I’m going to start pushing myself to get on with it again), plus to get on with more of my other projects.
    Sorry if this is a bit of an essay as I just had a lot of thoughts after listening to this episode just now on my way home.

    James

  41. Stacy says:

    Have a great break! I’d say don’t be upset if you don’t end up with “content” by the time you come back. I remember a post you did a while back about giving your brain time to just absorb the world, so you have new experiences to build content on. Or at least that’s the concept I took from something you might have blogged about sometime. Maybe I’m just saying that because I have some reports I should really be writing now to make a hard deadline of Thursday, and yet I am enjoying RFB instead.

    Love that I already am a fan of almost everything in the show notes. Look, everybody, I have good taste just like Wil Wheaton.

    Re Magic. I’m a new player, because of Spellslinger, and I had some trepidation about my first drafts. So far it’s been lots of fun and a pretty welcoming arena. I’d be overjoyed to play you anytime. In competitive Scrabble the worst backhanded compliment you can give is he or she is “a pretty good living room player.” I may have to make a local “Living Room Magic” group to find my Magic peeps.

  42. Gail says:

    First off..thank you for this.

    Secondly..listening to this reminded me of an argument I had in middle school, maybe round about seventh grade or so. One of the guys at my school accused me of not being a REAL Trekkie and that the only reason I watched TNG was because I (like apparently every other geek girl at the time, IDK) had a crush on Will Riker. I remember yelling back that I DID NOT like Will Riker (though I think Johnathan Frakes is a fine actor and quite the handsome older man. Don’t tell him I said that though. It would be terribly embarrassing), that I in fact had a crush on Picard. It was weird and awkward in that way that only geek centric arguments in middle school can be.

    Third..thanks for introducing me to You Must Remember This. I’ve already downloaded all the Manson’s Hollywood series because I kind of have a thing for pretty much anything and everything that came out of the 60s. My mom likes to joke that I’m a hippie that was born about 20 years too late (six years after you, in fact. Which makes ME feel old too, seeing as my birthday is coming up).

    Fourth–you’re totally right. Everybody needs to be more kind. I have an 11 yr old son who has special needs which include anxiety, ADHD, high functioning autism and apraxia (a speech problem). Over the last few years since he was diagnosed with this multitude of interesting but not particularly fun problems I have seen so much SHIT. I’ve been told that I caused my son’s problems because I had him vaccinated. That I should only feed him a special organic diet free of this thing, that thing and this other thing because that will magically cure him. I’ve been told (by a former coworker no less) that if I would just “open up a can of whoopass” more often, he wouldn’t have these things that make his life so horribly difficult and challenging most days.

    And at some point, I just decided, “Fuck it. Fuck it ALL.” because I was so sick of people telling me that oh my FUCKING GOD I did something wrong or I am doing something wrong because my son is disabled. I have, through my own reading and research both into medicine and my son’s particular issues and my own family history, come to conclude that I did NOTHING wrong. That my son, for whatever reason, just happened to hit the shittiest genetic lotto pretty much ever. Do I wish he were “normal”? Sometimes, yes I do. But he is who he is and I actually (most of the time anyway) like who he is. I wouldn’t change him if I could because really, it’s not my JOB to change him. It is my job, as his mother, to love the shit out of him and try to help him in the best way that I can because his life is not now nor will it ever be anything approaching easy.

    Anyway..sorry I went on so long, Wil. I just wanted to let you know that this podcast did not just disappear into the magical ether of the internet, that people ARE listening and people DO care. 🙂

    As Taylor Swift would say, “Players gonna play play play. And the haters gonna hate hate hate. But I’m just gonna shake shake shake. Shake it off, shake it off.”

  43. Jake says:

    I am sorry to hear that you were feeling unwelcome at Pax this year. It is because of you and your appearances in Acquisitions Inc games that convinced me to try D&D. And through you I found the nerdist podcast and have successfully binge listened my way through all those. The past 3 years I have been attending PAX east and have secretly wished you would magically appear there. I think you are great and have made me feel good about liking the things I do as much as I do. So I guess I can say thank you for letting me feel a little less awkward about the “nerdy” things I have always liked but felt like I had to keep to myself.

  44. I listened to this while driving across New Mexico, into Arizona, to go visit Meteor crater, and I just found myself physically nodding in agreement to the episode. I must have looked like an insane white person with no rhythm nodding along to a song, but in reality, I was agreeing with Dub Dub.

    The whole discussion you had about double standards for successful/famous people really hit the nail on the head. I think that a lot of folks in society place these unfair, and unrealistic expectations on people who are in the spotlight. I also think that there is some sort of pleasure that a lot of people get from tearing people down (especially online). That’s why public shaming has become such a hot topic recently. I literally do not understand how we can expect anyone to be able to survive in this environment. What a lot of the online community doesn’t realize, or just ignores, is that if they were to swing that judgmental pendulum the other direction, they would most likely be ripped apart by the online community as well.

    Everyone has had a bad day where they have snapped on someone, or posted a really bad joke on twitter…yet people still decide that tearing people down is the appropriate action…I don’t know…I ranted about all this on previous episodes of my podcast as well, and I was never able to arrive at any sort of answer.

  45. Jessi says:

    Hi Wil,

    This was a very honest and open episode and you said quite a few things I wish more people would hear!

    Looking forward to whatever it is you’re planning to write.

    Also wanted to mention I’m a Memory Palace listener as well and second your recommendation of it! I’ll be checking out the others you mentioned as I love to listen to podcasts on my way to and from work. Thanks!

  46. Alice says:

    Thanks for making a hour of my work day more interesting and enjoyable Wil. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us, and for creating so much for us. I’m sorry that shit people negatively impact that awesome. I’m very glad that you can overcome it to keep engaging with the world in the way you do.
    PS. Listening to the “Charles Manson’s Hollywood” was a very interesting accompaniment to searching for missing books in a university library. Thanks for recommending it.

  47. April says:

    Came across this after binge-watching episodes of Table Top (as a boardgames designer for kids I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to find and watch it)

    This was the first episode of Radio Free Burrito that I have listened to, It was really refreshing to listen to someone be so open and honest about where they’re at, the (interesting) opinions on important matters about how humans treat each other and general reflections on trying to hard to win over audiences. So thank you for that Will, it was really touching.

    Thank you for talking openly about your illness and anxiety to. And for creating all that you already to on Geek and Sundry. Good luck with your holiday re-set, can’t wait to see what else you make.

    🙂 x

    • April says:

      …and there’s a typo in my comment. I meant ‘too’ not ‘to’ I’m cringing at myself for not triple-checking my post.

  48. Debbie says:

    I’m a couple days late, but I really enjoy hearing what you think and listening to you talk things out usually helps me start to figure out whatever it is that I’m working through. Can’t wait to read what you write. Also I’ve had You Must Remember This downloaded for months now and have never listened, but am now working my way through it’s archives. It’s amazing, thanks for the recommendation as it gave me the push I needed to actually listen to it.

  49. Hi Wil. The podcast ticked in on my smartphone, and today I finally had a chance to listen to it (being monday and me having to go to work)¨

    People being bullies on the internet is not new, however I feel quite astonished that some are that obtuse as to make the life of you “celebs” (God, I hate that word) hell. I fear it’s the classic “cry for help” from a subsection of people that wants some of your sunlight to strike them, and being obnoxious makes them be more memorable. I don’t know. I really don’t get people most of the time.

    Nerd-culture is in, a sentence which is almost contradictory. While that is a good thing, to not experience the frowning, bullying and general “dickishness” of yonder years (as some of us have) is great, there are some negative aspects of the popularity. It’s something we discussed at length here in Denmark, when LARPing became big (i mean, very very big) in the aftermath of the Lord of the Rings movies. Some of the “original geeks” felt that “normal people” intruded on their territory. Being excluded from a lot of normal activities they felt that the uniqueness and their niche, where they belonged was being taken from them. And I think a lot of geeks felt afraid to lose their spot, and the risk of being excluded from the community they created, might be what turned the worst of us into trolls. I hope I am not too right (I really, really want to believe that people are more considerate) but that is what I have experienced talking with some of the people feeling scorned about the rising popularity of LARP in Denmark. I feel like that is what makes this whole “fake geek” nuisance a thing. You (along with Felicia, Chris, etc.) are profiting from the geek culture, and apparently that is what ticks people off, perhaps because you are also part of making the culture more mainstream and acceptable, and therefore a threat to their dominion.

    Wow. Now I am getting a bit derailed..

    I wanted to say that I too suffered/suffer from a severe case of depression and anxiety. Mine has been triggered by overworking, trying to accomplish too much and feeling downtrodden when I didn’t accomplish enough. I was one of the “smart kids” in basic school and high-school and everybody had enormous expectations to me. But now I can’t find the courage and motivation to finish my master thesis (even though everybody had the expectation of me almost winning the Nobel prize at the time…) This feeling is horrible, the feeling that I can’t get anything done, which makes me depressed and not motivated to get anything done. It’s the worse kind of feedback one can get caught into. Now I try to, to some degree, accept that what I do is not being a scientist but being a science educator, something I (in all modesty) really feel I am great at. But… Without the degree I fear for the future.

    And that is where you and these podcasts come in. Seeing that very succesfull people like you (and Stephen Fry etc.) can struggle with the same thing makes it more “acceptable” for me, and seeing that you have achieved great things, a great career and you made it in great part yourselves, gives me hope for the future. And for that i am grateful to your podcasts, your YouTube videos and whatever you make.

    Before this gets too soppy or ranty, well, I have some of the same “illnesses” as you and the PAX thing, well, it might sound from your description like it’s to some degree your brain working against you. I have however never been to PAX, but I can invite you to a quite different experience at Fastaval or one of the Danish cons. I am sure people would be nice (and if not, tell me and I will personally give them a hard time ]:) ) I think the non-commericality of the cons here might make them more sober and friendly. Try asking Steven Jackson. As far as I know, he invented the “… of Doom” Munchink-card during a Fastaval 🙂 And tell me if you visit by, and keep creating, hosting and generally being you, that is what we on this end enjoy the most anyway. DFTBA!

  50. Hey Wil!

    Smart strategy to do what you want with RFB, find its voice, and then let that be what guides you. Trying to chase an audience certainly isn’t as fulfilling to you, and won’t likely get you the audience you want anyway.

    I like the rambly podcasts. It feels very personal. Thank you for doing those, and keep those up if you like them.

    I appreciate and agree with the things that you talked about wrt creative technology being so available. It’s a great time to be a creator; it’s physically and financially easy to create stuff. Unfortunately, it’s also easy for people to sit in their house and shit all over stuff that other people create. It’s the sort of Jr. High locker room “I don’t actually know anything about this but I’m going to spout half-true facts to make myself sound tough” conversation, but amplified by the internet becomes a raging storm of bile. (I think this attitude is also part of the fuel of our media-centric reflexive “what do you think about THAT?” culture, but that’s another topic.)

    A creative sabbatical sounds great. It’s always good to take some time off and recharge.

    I appreciate, by the way, that you point out your own past flaws. That helps us understand where you’re coming from, and frankly encourages us to strive to be better.

    Good to hear from you, Wil. Have a good time on vacation.

    I hope to read what you’re working on. And if you decide not to put it out there, that’s fine too. You’re flexing your creative muscles. Writing things that don’t work is part of the process. “I am not a number, I am Wil Wheaton. I will not fear….”

    Take care. See you when you get back.

    Craig
    @gevmage

  51. I forgot to say: I myself have basically taken a sabbatical to DragonCon this weekend; I’m writing this in my hotel room before I drive back home. It was The DoubleClick’s first DragonCon, and as far as I could tell as an audience member, they had a good time. They played like 5 shows, and had good auciences from what I could tell.

    Back to the real world…..

  52. Anthony D says:

    Loved the new episode. I have been getting increasingly frustrated with the particular sub-culture on the Internet that feels the need to tear down creators. I don’t love everything I see online, even in the Geek and Sundry and Nerdist realms, but I’m not supposed to. We’re not supposed to like everything, the whole point is that we can all find something that we love.

    The mentality of people that feel the need to dump on people who are simply making a thing and (free of charge, mind you) putting it out there, astonishes me. If you don’t like it, simply move on to something you DO like. It’s really that simple.

    Okay, rant over – I just get so bothered by it all. On a lighter note, I loved the leadbelly version of the song – I actually prefer it over other versions I have heard (including Nervana). It’s just so haunting and painful a melody, and he is so expressive when he sings it, it has been running a loop through my head for days now.

    Keep up with the good work, I love most everything you do (Titansgrave was freaking awesome).

  53. shaun says:

    Hi Wil, its been a while.
    I’ve been listening to RFB a lot today as I’m off work. I’ve been a long-time fan of your site and books. They were a great help a few years ago when I lost my Gran. I just wanted to say thanks for being so open about your depression, it helps people hearing that stuff I think.I am sorry tho to hear that you suffer but that it sounds like you have a great network around you. Thanks for all the entertainment over the years. Take care.
    Shaun
    Colchester, England

  54. Ludo says:

    Hi Will,
    Great episode. Good luck with the reboot! I think we all need one from time to time.

  55. Matthew says:

    This was my first radio-free burrito (I had NO IDEA all my other burritos had radios in them!) but it surely is not the last! I really enjoyed the personal side of it, and your openness. Plus the items you share are very interesting, I look forward to digging into them a bit.
    As for the always-mad-at-Wil crowd, there will always be people that are mad at others for doing what they can’t or won’t. You create wonderful things, you help people connect with each other through gaming, you help people connect with themselves through your discussions about anxiety and depression, and get to do some downright amazing things (I’d give my left arm to share a stage with Karen Gillan and Matt Smith, if a) it wouldn’t hurt so much, and b)…..well there is no b), a) pretty much sums it up).
    I hope the vacation goes well, and I look forward to what pops out on the other side. Enjoy yourself, and thanks for sharing!

  56. Kalum says:

    RFB 43

    Hello, you ended the episode with a direct for interaction so here I am.

    I really like RFB. I like the way podcasting, as a media, has the potential to feel quite intimate. I have this feeling of intimacy to some extent when I listen to Mission Log, a bit more when listening to stuff like Weekly Planet or PA DLC (to name a few of my favs.)

    RFB pushes that a notch further and I like that. I realised only recently how the internet can create empathy or at least understanding.

    Again, I like that a lot.

    Something else I like is that it reminds me of the long conversations I used to have in my twenties with friends.

    I am lucky to have very good friends (new ones in addition to the old ones abroad) and my wife. However the “availability” is just not the same, London is a big city, we have jobs and some of us have kids. It is very rare that I have such conversations (not necessarily smart) nowadays.

    As I said RFB reminds me of that and offers me also a window on somebody else life. Something I also find in my favourite bits of Penny Arcade DLC when they happen to talk about their families or their personal amazement at various things.

    Actually, I look that feeling of “being in the room with” that it made me want to… (searching my words)

    … made me want to be myself the source of such feeling for somebody else?

    I had this desire and RFB played a part in thinking “better do something than do nothing / who cares / make a sincere effort to create something and get it out”. I was encouraged by the “unpolished” character and message of RFB (and also by the Do It videos by Shia LaBeouf).

    So I did it. In part thanks to you. I broadcasted a first episode, a second is almost ready and I have ideas for the next couple of them.

    So thank you.

    (interlude)

    This is getting long. I don’t even know if I will be able to post as much as comment on your website. I am offline on a Paris-London where I finished listening offline to the episode (because unlucky people try to cross the Euro tunnel by foot – a subject which would support long discussions about Internet and empathy).

    As a result, I don’t have anything else to do than to write this.

    (end of interlude)

    A couple weeks ago, I went on holiday in Scotland with my wife, my mother, my brother and his fiancee.

    I was on driving duty. We preferred no to pay the overpriced extra for my brother to be able to drive our rental car especially since it required each of to familiarise ourselves with driving on the left.

    (okay – you did it – Busy writing the BA lady asked me to raise my tablet and in the process I managed to spill the drinks I forgot about – My pants are covered with coffee and water as we are landing and that’s your fault Will Weathon!! )

    Anyway, as I was the one driving on those Scottish roads for rather long journeys, there was an implicit understanding I was the one picking up the “music”…

    …and as it would have been too expensive to use 4G to stream music, I ended playing podcasts downloaded previously on my phone.

    I even played my own (which I put online a week before). Which was kindly received.

    Among others I also played yours. The RFB when you wash your dishes.

    My brother and his fiancee found it quite uninteresting. So come back to Earth Will Weathon!

    … but it helped my wife understand why I wanted to do one too.

    (My plane is now taxying on the runway. I hope these words will find you and that you will find them of some interest and will justify the data roaming I am about to invest in them).

    Cheers

  57. Si Vert says:

    Hey Wil,
    I’m not sure where I found this Podcast, it just appeared one day about 2 weeks ago on my phone. Since then I’ve listened to all of them and I had an 8 hour binge on them while doing my housework and gardening yesterday. I’m really enjoying them. I like the random chatting. Dog Vomit was one of my favourite episode. I also stopped working for an hour when I heard you’d done some Newcy Brown Ads and watched all the bloody adverts they’ve made for the American market, they were really funny. I don’t even really like Newcy Brown that much, London Pride’s my fav.
    I also totally agree that the Table top shows should be for newbies, otherwise I’d never be able to follow them! Anyways, thanks for the Free Pods, keep up the good work, and don’t be so hard on yourself, I enjoy all your work and loads of other people do too 🙂

  58. Rick lovering says:

    Wil, while your need to stay creative and fresh is extremely important and will untimately lead to your next thing that many will enjoy, you have millions of fans that really appreciate you and all you’ve done for geek culture (does this even really need a Distinction?!). Don’t underestimate the joy you bring your fans by attending events like pax, etc. Accessability to people like you and your story helps your fans that may have similar struggles. The idea that they could attend something where they could possibly meet you is so important and potentially life changing!
    Keep up the awesome work and know you have fans that truly appreciate what you do!

    Your fan,
    Rick

  59. Thanks for making this episode and the podcast. I look forward to each one and often binge on past episodes. They feel like letters from a friend and I’m always sad when you mention them going on too long. If it was me, I’d listen for hours and hours and so on.

    I also have anxiety/depression issues so it really helps normalize (I don’t think that’s the right word) my issues by hearing you talk about it. Honestly, I don’t know how you still manage your creative output knowing that there are going to be Haters Just To Be Hatin’. I dig your resilience and tenacity. Thanks for being Wil Wheaton.

    Brian via gonzarro

  60. Thanks for making this episode and the podcast. I look forward to each one and often binge on past episodes. They feel like letters from a friend and I’m always sad when you mention them going on too long. If it was me, I’d listen for hours and hours and so on.

    I also have anxiety/depression issues so it really helps normalize (I don’t think that’s the right word) my issues by hearing you talk about it. Honestly, I don’t know how you still manage your creative output knowing that there are going to be Haters Just To Be Hatin’. I dig your resilience and tenacity. Thanks for being Wil Wheaton.

    B(vG)

  61. Lori says:

    Just exactly what do you do for a living

    • wil says:

      Is that a question for me?

      • Lori2Bee@gmail.com says:

        Its a question for you Wil

        • Wil says:

          What exactly do I do for a living? Lots of things. I write, I act, I produce, I publish.

          • Stacy says:

            I think it’s kind of brilliant this whole thing on the interwebs of creating content you can make a living from. And wow are you on the ground floor of that, or maybe you helped build the ground floor where there wasn’t one before. It’s pretty brave to build a living for yourself based on what you love, and put it out for the world to love, but also judge. But man it creates some wild and awesome rides for us in the audience – Tabletop, Kung Fury, Nightvale, Titansgrave, the Doubleclicks, Exploding Kittens… who would be giving that kind of thing to the world if people like you and Felicia and Hardwick hadn’t figured out how to make it a good living!

          • Lori2Bee@gmail.com says:

            I know you act saw you on Dark Matter….What do you publish write and produce…..I’m a fan and try to follow you in all your Endeavors

        • Bob says:

          He is an owner/director in both a production company and a brewery. He writes books and acts in movies, TV shows, and web series. He does voiceover work for the book, game & television industries. He’s a public speaker, a blogger, a podcaster, a game designer, a game promoter, and a technical consultant for many types of media production. He’s an advocate and philanthropist for several important causes including animal rights and mental health. And he’s a person whose work has, for years now, given me (and many others) little nuggets of thought to chew on, which tend to prod us to think about life and career in new ways and wind up better people as a result.

  62. tsheets says:

    I would bet none of the anti-Wil Wheaton trolls are home-brewers. 😉

    • Jeff says:

      Unfortunately there are trolls in all circles, even in homebrewing forums. Thankfully they are a small but unsurprisingly loud and high in IBUs minority.

  63. Mitchel says:

    Hey,
    Just wanted to say I love the podcast, and keep up the great work on Titans Grave. I can’t wait for season 2.

    -DFTBA

  64. Rich says:

    Thanks for the thoughtful words – and best of luck on your sabbatical and forthcoming efforts to make stuff. I listened to you while running today and your thoughts on gatekeepers and dickishness struck a chord. I’ve been growing increasingly troubled by the lack of polite discourse in the media (social, print, and broadcast). Too often I see a message of “my guy is great and your guy is the anti-christ”…or similarly, “i believe this and anyone who thinks otherwise is stupid and/or evil”.

    I’ve been struggling to figure out how I should deal with this. I think our inability to have civil discourse, instead resorting to vitriol and villification, is a huge problem in America today. In the end, I’ve started going out of my way to stay a middle course and ask more of others. This hasn’t gone well. Trolls don’t want to think, it seems…and the kind of people who spew hateful words tend not to want to think about the issues.

    but…yesterday I got a positive hit. I pointed out to a friend that the politician they were railing against had spent a lifetime in public service and was, by any objective measure, a very successful, well-educated, successful person. Disagree with that person’s politics or policies – that’s totally fair – but we should remember that they are also people and we should be better when talking about them.

    So…thanks for not being a dick…and for reminding all of us to not be a dick. I’m taking it to heart and I hope others do too. …and in the meantime, I’m playing more games. Thanks for that too.

    -Your pal, Rich

  65. Christa Rudd says:

    I really liked LeadBelly.It’s a very dark song,but the music the melody feels soothing to me.

    Lore sounds very interesting.I’ll be checking that out.I like how you put the links in your notes.

    Reflecting when you feel the need is good.Also,I never want to visit Suck Creek.LOL!I know it is not a place for me.That was funny and unexpected.

  66. Johan Björn says:

    Hi wil,
    Thanks for getting on with the burrito thing again ive been really missing it!
    My name is Johan and im from Sweden btw, so please exuse my sucky spelling!
    I really love lissening to you and the storys of your life, you speak with some sort of honesty witch im not really used to! I mean that in a positive way! You want to know what people want to have you talk about? Myself love it when you talk about your family and friends and stories that make you happy, like when you eat strong food and have to shit diarrés on the side of the road :). You get another tone in your woise when you talk about things or people you love. Thats my advice for you in most things, do as much things as possible that you love doing thats when you glow!
    Love from Stockholm Sweden
    /Johan

  67. Marshall says:

    I really enjoy this format talking about your experiences and personal demons and how you yell at yourself for being a lazy creator in much the same way as I do myself you make yourself more accessible and it’s awesome as a sort of nobody to hear someone you look up to so much is flawed and human in much the same way as myself thank you Wil!!! And I hope eventually the Internet and people in general treat you and everyone else better

  68. Tracy says:

    I honestly love pretty much all your podcasts, and I whole heartedly encourage and support you to keep on sharing your opinions, and overall thoughts on all subject matters.

    I’m not surprised you and your friends like Chris, and Felicia get bullied online because people suck, but I’m glad you guys have each other to talk to about it.

    Thanks again for the awesomeness, and keep on doing you, good sir!

  69. Bob says:

    The guy’s name is Travis Allen. Yes, I saw his blog. It was a tad ridiculous, and most of his subscribers told him that in the comments. Given its reception, I suspect that if we all ignore it, he’ll quietly mod or remove it at some point. In any case, it would be a shame if you let a poorly written blog post and a handful of emos keep you away from Pax. These guys have a couple of shoe-boxes full of cards and are running around looking for their keymaster with a fervor that would make Rick Moranis blush. They’ll grow out of it. As a gamer and a duck-footed-rain-soaked Northwesterner, I appreciate what you do for the gaming community and I hereby declare you “Welcome both to Seattle & to Pax” – in perpetuity. So say I – so say we all. Come as a celeb, come as a participant, or simply come for to stand in line at the concessions and marvel at the price of a dry sanwich on white bread.

    There, I’m glad that’s settled. Next agenda item.

  70. Jon Sheffer says:

    Hi Wil! I just found your podcast, and wanted to let you know that I’m looking forward to going back through to listen to the previous episodes. I also wanted to comment here, however, because many of your words in this episode really spoke to me. You talked about recently having sort of a lack of motivation to create, and that’s kind of the headspace I’m in right now. I write stories and songs, but lately I’ve been feeling rather depressed, as well as anxious, and have lost a lot of drive to do much of anything. It’s like my creativity is being squeezed out of me, and I just feel kind of exhausted and defeated. Knowing that you experience similar feelings and worries makes me feel better, though. You are one of my main inspirations for being creative–I really enjoy TableTop, and Titansgrave is A-mazing–so hearing you talk about this brought me some comfort. And the fact that you deal with these issues and are still able to do these great things is not only comforting, it makes me want to push myself to fight through the bad times, in order to make the things I want to make. I guess sometimes progress can be made just by being made to realize that you’re not alone in something. So thank you for helping me realize that. Have a great day!

  71. KristinaE says:

    I check every week for a new radio free burrito. I open my podcast app every Monday morning and stare at the radio free burrito logo hoping that beautiful little red one will pop up in the corner to tell me good morning. Today I was so happy it finally popped up! Thanks for the episode and your thoughts Wil.

    I could be wrong, but your perception of what people were thinking at PAX may be inaccurate. I can’t say for sure, because I wasn’t there; but as a person with social anxiety myself that is exactly what I project onto others when I’m not confident in myself, at that time, for whatever reason. You have to make your decisions sometimes, not on what you think others think, but what others were actually saying to you.
    Anyway, thanks for the podcast. I enjoyed it immensely.

  72. Heather says:

    So so so glad you made a new RFB !!!
    I was just saying to myself has Wil released a new book lately that I don’t have, did I miss something …
    I ADORE YOU !!! You speak the truth !!! Your life is real, your family is real, your pets, everything, YOU ARE REAL !!! Your thoughts, ideas, experiences, life my spirit and make me smile … Don’t ever let the suck holes out there change you … Haters gonna hate Fakers gonna fake – we’re just gonna shake it off … Pet Seamus Marlowe Luna and Watson for me HUGS

  73. Daniel says:

    Just stumbled across this podcast tonight for the first time… Wil, I love you so hard! You are fucking awesome – your openness and honesty is so refreshing and REAL, and I can relate to so much of what you talk about. I have a whole alphabet soup of mental health shit that I have been dealing with for over 30 years (PTSD, OCD, social phobia, depression and generalized anxiety that I have to deal with sans medication because of chemical sensitivities that make me very sick when I take them) and I have to tell you that just knowing that someone of your calibre deals with so many of the same thoughts and worries that I do really, REALLY helps. You do so much amazing work – don’t let the haters get to you, because they’re just so far below your level it’s ridiculous (and kudos to you for recognising when they may not entirely be haters, depression and anxiety are lying bitches like that). Thank you so much for being so candid and open, you have no idea how much just listening to you talk helps me keep going and inspires me. You have yourself another regular listener here now, I will be glued to every podcast! Again, thank you SO MUCH for everything you do.

  74. Nick says:

    Wil- your podcast almost always hits home for me. I need that reminder to try and not be afraid to just make a thing.

    It makes me genuinely happy to know you are winning battles against what can paralyze me so often in life. You give hope that we can try doing the things we love and make that our work. Hoping one day I can figure that out myself.
    I really hope this MtG thing never keeps you from making a decision to do what you love.

  75. Leo says:

    If i see a celebrity on the street, i instinctively try to ignore them; act like they’re just a regular person going somewhere. I’m trying to respect their privacy and time. But i always wonder, if that person sees me, and others like me, just going about our business, is it maybe possible that he/she could think “oh! they hated my last movie” or “I’m on TV every night, but nobody recognizes me, I’m a failure!”, etc?

    What I’m getting at is that even those folks that you thought “hated you”, they could be fans of you and your work, but they’re just trying to be cool and treat you like a regular dude, without putting pressure on you. It’s a theory.

    I guess it’s hard for all of us, not ever knowing with absolute certainty what ANYONE else is thinking. But know that there’s at least one person in the world who would ignore Taylor Swift if she wanted to jog in a public park. Not stopping her, not taking pictures. Well, maybe just a slightly longer glance from the corner of the eye, because she’s a pretty woman.

    Greetings from Romania!

  76. I love the “stream of consciousness” quality of all the Burritos & sub- Burritos.
    Also a fan of your other stuff.
    People who judge someone without knowing them deserve only pity.
    “Don’t be a dick” applies to how you treat yourself as well.Give yourself more breaks & keep making stuff!

  77. Kristine Ross says:

    Hi, the internet is a weird place. I think of people like you, Chris Hardwick, Felicia Day, Hank and John Green, etc as my imaginary friends. I feel genuinely happy when good things happen for you and genuinely want to slap people with a dead fish when they are mean to you. (Note there is a scale [pun intended] on dead fish slapping from dead a few days smelly slimy fish which will just make the slapee smell bad to a frozen one that can do some damage.)

    I think you totally nailed what you were saying on this podcast when you said there are people treating you like how they treat “fake gamer geek girls”. You have some celebrity, so you stop being a real person who deserves to be treated like a real person and become an object or possession that they expect to behave a certain way or earn their wrath. It is exactly how the dark side of the internet treats women. I’m sure you standing up for women has caused some of what you were feeling. They really don’t like that.

    I’ve often though that men who become celebrities experience the closest thing it is to be a woman in this society. Every time Chris talks to someone famous about how the biggest change to their lives is the inability to just run an errand without being totally aware of their surroundings, can’t be in their own head left to their private thoughts, have to be “on” all the time in case someone takes offense, etc, I think “welcome to how every woman has to learn to walk through the world”.

  78. Jason S. says:

    Wil,

    It’s extremely abnormal for me to comment in response to a podcast, but I felt compelled after your encouragement to listeners.

    Thank you for recording this podcast and for your other work on Geek and Sundry. What keeps me coming back and looking for a new episode each week is the same storytelling quality and candidness that I enjoyed in the audio version of your books.

    It seemed strange to me that you were hosting the preview show for Battle for Zendikar, based on the intro you gave in the Legendary episode on TableTop. Have you started playing again beyond PAX? If so, are there any specific deck themes you’re excited about building, and do you play EDH?

    Jason

  79. Chris says:

    Wil,
    Nothing made me unfuck myself and become a more tolerant, compassionate person than becoming a dad. Even with that it took years of critical self reflection and therapy to transcend 1980s/90s teen angst, manage my depression, and constantly trying to make things better for someone who deserved it (my kid).
    He’s 14 now, I’ve learned a lot about how to parent him, but also about how to take those lessons and push them into the world.
    You keep doing you. You’re four years older than me so you have me on the power curve by a bit, and I learn something new, feel more empowered to be my best self, and see how to produce lasting creative work of value every time I hear you talk or read what you have to offer. Keep doing you. You are valued. You make the world a better place with what you offer.
    Cheers,
    Chris
    @RevFenian

  80. Mike M says:

    As someone who used to go to PAX to see you and JoCo every year, you’re pretty much synonymous with PAX for me, and the kind of gaming culture I feel good about. The fact you don’t feel welcome there breaks my heart. I haven’t been in a few years since both you and JoCo ceased coming.

  81. Dave B says:

    Hi Wil,
    As an attendee of both SDCC and Gen Con, I’d love to hear more about your experience at these cons such as people you met, parties you attended, what it was like to be on a Hall H panel, and stories from “behind the scenes”.

    Please keep putting yourself out there and creating stuff regardless of any negativity you might experience as you have a lot of fans who appreciate what you do. Thanks!

  82. Chloe says:

    Hey Wil!

    I’m a fairly new listener but I just wanted to say that this episode really resonated with me. I’m glad you didn’t take out the thoughts on kindness and such after the TSwift b/c I think that’s really important, and I also loved what you said about hitting the creative reset button – something I”m about to do myself and am pretty nervous about.

    Excited to hear future episodes! Thanks for the realness and creativity 🙂

  83. Justin says:

    Hi Wil!

    RFB is so relaxing and inspiring to listen to, man. I just starting listening, but I’ve been a fan of yours for awhile ever since you did that first D&D podcast with pennyarcade.

    Anyways, it just blows my mind that people will go out of their way to be cruel and hateful with no sense of how their actions effect others. While it’s easy to say “fuck those guys” or “just ignore them” eventually it beat you down enough that it effects you.

    I think you know this, but I just wanna remind you that you have a lot of people that admire you and enjoy your work so keep on doing what you need/love to do!

    Have a great day, man.

    Justin

  84. Heather Newman says:

    Finally followed the rabbit trail from your blog to this podcast and I am so glad I did! The conversational style is wonderful. I have been binge listening over the past two days as I have been canning our veggies and I find myself nodding and saying, “Yes!” over and over again. Your views on being a decent human being and creativity really resonate with what I believe to be true. It’s easy to criticize, it takes a bravery of the soul to create and share it with the wider world. Thank you for sharing your creativity!!

  85. Jeff says:

    Radio Free Burrito is my favorite podcast. In a weird way, I like that there have been comparatively few RFB episodes over the years as it really makes me appreciate them even more when they come out.

    What I like most about it is how you make us feel that you’re talking to us individually, possibly due to the content being very personal and honest – similar to how I felt about “Just a Geek”. Your audience may not be huge, but I’m pretty sure most of us connect with what you share with us, often with the result of helping us with our own issues.

    The second thing I like about the podcast is the bell.

    Regarding this specific episode – I may be too set in my ways to enjoy Taylor Swift’s music, but you’ve convinced me to give 1989 a try. Secondly, the disconnect between the way you describe the public presentation in the podcast and the personal interactions when playing written in your blog is almost mind-boggling. Though it does indicate that some people dislike “Wil the concept” in their brain, but not “Wil the actual person” once they get to know a bit more about you. Which they would if they listened to your podcast.

    Anyway, please keep making RFB until you don’t feel like it anymore – it’s always a joy when I see a new one is available.

  86. B Lozano says:

    Always look forward to a new podcast from you! Full length or not! Forget the trolls! People who are stuck within their own shitty outlook of themselves and their situation will always troll people who have battled inner demons and made it through. I have bipolar with anxiety issues, and it’s hard some days to deal with others, but I know my worth, and I know the worth of others, good or bad, and I try to remain respectful and positive.
    You’re doing great. Let the trolls roll on.

  87. Bit late in listening. Just got round to it this afternoon while driving my car to the garage. Looking forward to reading about a Vampire!

  88. Roger Perkins says:

    ey, nice podcast, thanks for asking, been waiting a whole month.

    Roger

  89. Laura Weber says:

    Dear Wil,
    I haven’t written before, but I’ve listened for years. Consistently more recently, but I think I heard the first radio free burrito before it was a podcast like a decade ago. Anyway, I really enjoy listening to it. Mostly because you mention cool stuff I wouldn’t know about otherwise. Some of it I’m not into, but a lot of it I am so thank you. Yours is the voice in the back of my mind telling me to get in there when my kids want me to play yet another board game with them. Their favorite is Talisman and they are not even 9 yet, I’m very proud. While I’m not creative like you, the recent podcast encourages me to do my work at work more mindfully and with a purpose of helping other people. Not just work to trudge through because I have to. I needed to hear that today. So thank you. And please keep it up, I appreciate it!

  90. Michael says:

    Hey Wil,

    I really liked what you said about the need for societal repercussions about how one acts or responds on the net. I especially liked your thought on how much more difficult it is for women to enjoy and participate in just about everything without being slammed from a million different directions.

    Things are changing for the better but the way the media outlets portray women in powerful positions is just sad. Pathetic really. The Internets ability to amplify one shitty voice over the thousands of positive ones is … striking. I think its important to remember that most people who enjoy something (or do not have a negative experience) do not go out of their way to yell about it online. It’s the really angry person who decided to drop bombs. The internet is a fantastic place to vent in private and that is something a creative needs to remember when it seems like the world is crumbling.

    Other notes: I’ve been listening to Lore for a while and really enjoy it. I’ll take a peek at a few of the podcasts you mentioned.

    I also disliked Taylor Swift … and then I kept hearing her knew songs and realizing that they are really, really good. So good my awesome wife bought me a vinyl copy.

    Keep on going. Your doing fine. Your making a mark, having fun, and are surrounded by good friends.

    I too am a creative whose wandered around – trying to find my voice while balancing the need to pay for rent, a daughter, and a good life. I could go on and on about my own journey – but it was not until recently that I’ve found a center and true happiness. It’s many things that found me there … and a lot of self realizations and commitments to who I am.

  91. Jordan says:

    Hey Wil,

    I really admire your honesty on these podcasts and how you aren’t afraid to talk about messy stuff like depression. I feel like I can relate to a lot of those things that you bring up and i feel like I hear part of myself when I listen to you. I just wanted to let you know that I enjoy the podcast and I really admire who you choose to be and how you open up your life for people.

    I hope you are well
    Jordan

  92. Jared says:

    Wil, you were missed at DragonCon.

    I’m sorry that you had to deal with Gamergaters. I can hope eventually they will go away. On the plus side, thanks to people like you, those who thought they had to accept the abuse of that kind of person, who craps on anything they don’t love themselves, are starting to realize that they don’t have to let those people have that power in their life.

    Also, thank you for your friendship with Chris Hardwick. I heard you talk about being on @Midnight, so started DVRing it. It bothers me that he feels he has to apologize for using jokes to “punch” at things like Jared Fogle and Bill Cosby, but said jokes help some of us deal with things. I work anti-child exploitation, so I really do need those laughs and verbal punches at the bad guys to help keep me sane.

    I am working on catching up on Nerdist podcasts now, and you and he focusing on things that “interest” you (I couldn’t type that without hearing a bell in my head now,) actually does make a difference. Man, his interview with Sir Ben Kingsley really blew me away. I would rather hear an honest person’s thoughts, especially given the depth balanced with humor that you give, than a script any day.

    I wouldn’t tell you to stay as you are, because you are constantly evolving. We like that about you. But I am glad to hear when you take time to find joy in things.

    And on a side note, have you heard of the Burrito pizza wrap?

    3 Chipotle burritos wrapped in a pizza? Part of me says hell yes! My colon says “oh, HELL no…”

  93. Trent says:

    Thanks for this Wil. I have a son who is nerdy like me and is picked on at school. 5th grade, so not even middle school yet. He likes to walk around and pretend play by himself, and that’s not cool on the playground. He just started “making his thing” which is stuffed animal videos that he narrates. My wife and I are encouraging him as best we can, but I know he’s in for harder times ahead. Being a nerd was tough in my era, the 80’s, but it seems worse now for kids. What can one do to help prepare their child for the cruel world we have to live in? The term “nerd” may be in fashion,but is still a hard path to take.

  94. Graham says:

    This was the first of your podcasts I have listened to. Thank you for being so candid about issues that a lot of men find it difficult to talk about openly, or at all.

    Live. Create. Fuck the haters.

  95. Khador says:

    Hi Will,

    I only recently found your podcast and started to listen to it I got through the last 6 today and found them extremely helpful and insightful in many ways to help me work through a couple creative problems I had recently. Just thought I say that first.

    But anyway after listening to you talk about the way people are treated by mass/greater media I had a couple ideas:

    I believe we are hitting a point where legacy and new media needs to merge or form some new connection, with the ideal being the forcing out of the venomous fear and the trolling anonymity out of each other.

    And I say this because I think as time progresses onwards people are becoming more aware that information is tainted by personal opinion, however unintentional it is and the only way to form a solid opinion, especially about a subject where in a normal situation you have no other way than the media to interact with it, is to look at the whole story, look at everything published, on-line/offline, but that is such a daunting task in many ways that people will grasp onto those one or two pieces they find and probably not consciously choosing too believe they are real.

    I hope that you and anyone else on here who reads this can kinda understand what I am getting out with that. Anyway thank you again, I hope you enjoy what time you have off to continue your reboot of yourself if you so need it and I hope you enjoy every day as it comes.

    -Khador aka Dan

    P.S. 9 lives was an awesome track would love to hear more, to sound cloud I go, Thanks

  96. Joshua Bryan says:

    Hey, Stop apologizing! I love your stuff. So happy you are doing more podcasts. When your turn comes up on my phone it makes me happy.

    I just hope you realize the positive impact you have on peoples life.

    You talk about making the thing and somehow I made a thing. I stopped thinking about it as impossible to get through and nailed the last draft of my first novel. Say last because I am done and ready to make another thing, also a novel, I am boring.

    So stop apologizing bro, and keep inspiring me.

    Looking forwarded to more stuffz.

  97. Tilly says:

    Hi Wil
    This podcast kept me company on my train commute from London to Suffolk (where I live) – so thank you – it must be odd to sit in a room and wonder who you are talking to – well on the 18.38 Liverpool Street to Colchester you were talking to me. I really liked the style, the honesty and the passion and will listen to more. I found your podcast via Nerdist – heard you on that and thought I wanted to hear more – and I did. Keep it up. Please continue to help kick this weird snobbery out of the Nerdiverse – a topic that came up on a late night Woman’s hour BBC podcast recently – if you can get BBC podcasts the late night episodes of Woman’s Hour are worth a listen (but only on headphones – not for little ears).

    I am 43, and loved your bit on Taylor Swift – I really like it when you find music that you had previously dismissed is really good. For me Bella Hardy’s With the Dawn has reinvigorated my need to listen to new music (she is great) – never would have thought I would buy a British Folk Album – but it is the closest you can get to snuggling up in a blanket and drinking a lovely cup of tea (when you are actually standing with your face in someone’s armpit on the tube).

    I am looking forward to the next podcast – keep it up.

  98. CG says:

    I am also one of the many that love the RFB podcasts. I really appreciate your honesty.

    Keep these coming. Because of these little episodes where you think you have just rambled on you have actually helped others (myself included) on multiple different levels.

    • CG says:

      Oh! And I hope you had a nice time off in August to recharge! Glad to have you back in the swing of things 🙂

  99. Chris says:

    A few things:

    I love this format for the podcast. I have a very long commute every morning, which I have to make by myself, so it’s nice to basically have someone else talking in my car. I’m part of a conversation where I just get to listen! It really helps to take away the stress of morning traffic.
    I feel the same way as you about music… My wife loves pop music and every once in a while I’ll find a song or artist that I really like and I feel that I am going against my roots. In the past I was very critical of pop music and had the same thoughts where to me pop music was nothing more than contrived boy bands…
    Blah trolls… I make youtube training videos for the software company that I work for. You wouldn’t see these videos unless you were using the software and it’s not something you would just randomly stumble upon… some of the comments that were left on the videos were just insane.
    I look forward to more Titansgrave and Tabletop. I travel often for work (it works out sometimes because for example when I am in LA I get to spend an extra day sitting in the audience of shows like @midnight and The Wil Wheaton Project, yeah I haven’t been to LA in a while), but I enjoy watching all of those in my hotel room. Also Tabletop helps me pick out games for my gaming group!

    Thanks and keep up the good work!

  100. Hi Wil, thanks for posting a full episode! I enjoy listening to these mainly for what you’re up to and your Thoughts on Things. Inspired me to create my own little podcast about my thoughts on things as a supplement to other podcasts I do. I feel like I share a lot of similar interests when it comes to literature and film and whatnot so I enjoy your recommendations.

    This is the second place I think I’ve heard recommended You Must Remember This in the last week – so I think it’s time I have a look into it. Sounds like an interesting podcast!

  101. Jason Cooley says:

    Hi!

    Your podcast does not go into the either! And how in the hell do you spell ‘either’?!? I enjoy it because it is not preachy (personal reflection is never preachy). It doesn’t tell me that what I’m thinking as a white anglo saxon male is horrible and I should be shot with the rest of my kind which seems to be very popular these days. It talks about stuff.

    I try to find podcasts not to broaden my morality or social horizons but to learn about new things out there. To find new ideas, games and art that I would otherwize not be privy too. Your podcast fits the mold.

    More importantly, I love that it’s random with snippets here and there. Because that is what life is. Random. If you say something that offends me, it doesn’t matter because I’ve listened to these enough to know what you are about and will not judge based on a single comment because you seem to be a good guy. And that is enough.

    I would also say that it is ok to say positive things online. It seems to be cool to mock, vilify, frown upon, look down on and generally make fun of things today. People apparently think it’s ok to shame an individual without knowing them or the circumstances they are in to the point where it is abusive. Moreover, they find it funny. I for one, will always be vocal about what I like and will gladly send encouragement where I can. I will not however debate anything with a negative connotation because my views will never be heard or considered. Everyone is consumed with “one upping” each other that we forget to learn from the debate. Sober second thought seems to mean “I haven’t had a drink yet, give me a minute.”.

    That’s why I like your podcast. Some days it’s reflective, others it’s educational and others I’m exposed to new things … not all of which I enjoy, but at least I tried and so did you. Which is the point.

    So long story short. You seemed a bit down in Episode 43. As a faceless, nameless and generally quiet listener,please keep doing what you are doing. I’m enjoying it.

    Looking forward to Episode 44 … or 43a … or NOT A BURRITO …

  102. Armel says:

    Hi, Will. I just heard your last episode. I politely decline to tell you how I feel about it and what I do and do not like so that you can just continue doing what it is you do. 818 represent, and all that sort of jazz.

  103. Armel says:

    And also Wil.

  104. Brian says:

    They episode was awesome. I’m glad I could listen. I’m sorry people are awful to you and Chris on the Internet. I was once an ass to Chris and I still feel bad about it to this day. I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who was an ass to people while working through issues. My fiancé sometimes gets comments fron assholes for slightly inclusionary stuff(equality for all things), I can only imagine what women who actually are known have to deal with. I just wish people were better. Also I was not a fan of Ms. Swift, but 89 is really good and catchy to the point that out hurts.

  105. Paul Drussel says:

    Hello & thank you for another enjoyable podcast from (currently..) sunny Hertfordshire, UK.

    Your segment about being kind reminded me of the advice Cinderella’s mum gave her in the recent movie (which was surprisingly enjoyable, my 8 & 4 year old boys loved it): “Have courage & be kind” 🙂

  106. Erica B says:

    Hey Wil! like others here- I really enjoyed the episode. I hope all of your fans sharing their admiration for you and your work speaks way louder than the trolls and things your brain lies to you about.
    One thing I love about your podcast is that you, who to all of us, is a celebrity, become a normal- just like us. You talk to us like a dear friend, even when your really talking to yourself. It’s possible that the Magic event wasn’t your best if you went in thinking it would be difficult and had a more negative spin on the situation before it even started, but it is what it is, and people need to get over themselves. Take care

  107. Mimi (Melissa) says:

    Like 99% of the others here, I enjoy your podcasts the way they are, a little quirkyness, a little story perhaps, and just your thoughts or feelings. If creating that thing works for you – we appreciate the openness. It doesn’t feel scripted or fake. It’s a very small part of my day that is quiet, soothing, and thought provoking. Most of my day involves small people clinging to my legs and wailing for food, hugs, or pointing out poop they pulled out of their diaper and placed on the floor. True story. OMG.
    I love my 30 minute drive to work and when I get to listen to a new burrito, it’s awesome. So much better than the radio jocks we are exposed to. Why are they all laughing so goddamn loud all the time? What is so fucking funny at 9am?
    I blew through Ready Player One audiobook, and am shaking my fist at my library for not having Armada yet.
    I had more thoughts but I’m losing them. I found out today I might be going to Africa for work in November with Kensington Tours and I’m excited as shit. Focus I has not it.

    • Mimi (Melissa) says:

      I’m replying to myself! Because HO Lee Shit, if I’d only looked at my email sooner… Armada the audiobook is sitting there waiting for me to download, my library got it. Thanks Ypsilanti Library!

  108. Søren Thustrup says:

    Like many of the others I enjoyed your podcast, and I’m sorry you have those feels you do. I look very much forward to hearing more after your break.

  109. Lauri says:

    Really enjoyed this Burrito. You are an inspiration on working thru the junk our brains manufacture to hold us back. Keep it up! Your willingness to share is helpful to so many.
    I really identified with how you felt about attending PAX this year. My hubby & I have several events we have attended year in year out that eventually lose their ability to bring us back for another year. I feel this is just the normal progression of us (& said event) evolving & growing older. It’s also a good way to get out of a rut and find new things to discover. So you are on the right track. Might just be the right time to pursue that directing bug. Best wishes as you find the next path.

  110. Brandi says:

    First time listening to RFB and so glad I did. Wil, you touched on so many points that I can’t even begin to state how grateful I am to hear another creator feel the same frustrations and aggravations at so many aspects of the world and the internet as it is. (I’m not so self-centered to think I’m the only one by any stretch of the imagination; it’s just always nice to hear others commiserate about the same things that drive me up the wall as a creator.)

    I could write a novel here, so I’ll keep it to key points:
    The number of people who can’t abide the very simple ideology of “don’t be a dick” blows my mind.
    In that same mindset, the fact that people will make such snap judgements as to say they hate you (or anyone, really) so therefore they must hate anything you are attached to just makes me want to smack people.
    As an artist, I constantly struggle with the mindset to create what I want to create rather than create what I think people will want and chase the audience. That really rang true.

    I think I’ve rambled enough. So again, thank you. And go create.

  111. Ross says:

    Thanks for this show Wil. We grew up in the same era, with you just 4 years older than me, and it sickens me that “geeks” are now in a “i was punk before punk” mentality. Having to hide my love of DnD, Fantasy books, and certain (ahem TNG), TV Shows caused a lot of issues throughout highschool. To see that “geek” is now the cultural norm, it saddens me that there are still asshats who will try to be more geek, and ruin someone elses enjoyment of anything.

    Great show, now added to my podcast app, and subscribed! Keep up the good work!

  112. You’re just four years older than me, but as a kid, I didn’t like your character on TNG mainly because I was insanely jealous of you. I wonder if a lot of the people who “bash” you felt the same way–they are jealous of what they perceive you have so it makes them feel better about themselves by trying to tear you down. And with the way that social media and the internet have evolved, they can actually see your reaction in real time. I think that describes what’s happening with Taylor Swift and so many other celebrities.

    Of course, I’ve matured since my teenage years and realize that you’re a person just like me. You’re really good at acting and have an amazing acting career. I’m an attorney who works for a bank and am really good at what I do. We are both doing what we enjoy and that’s what matters. The only difference is that you are forced to live your life in a public way while no one would ever recognize me on the street.

    This podcast episode really reinforces that. I never knew that you had so much angst as a teenager. But I can relate. You live a good life, but it’s not perfect. The public thinks that since you’re Wil Wheaton, everything must be unicorns and rainbows. But you’re human just like everyone else, with human emotions and feelings. And while I’m sure you’ve developed a thick skin, it must be tiring dealing with all of the crap that other people send your way simply because you’re jealous.

    I appreciate that you were open enough to publish this episode. Thank you for taking the time to share.

  113. PatG says:

    I got to this one very late. I don’t have much to add other than to say you use your celebrity powers for good.

    Your openness and honesty has touched a lot of people and helped them know that they are not alone.

    In a world where the public idolizes (or demonizes) celebrity for all the wrong reasons, you are one of the few positive role models. Keep it up.

  114. Milo Grigsby says:

    Mr. Wheaton,
    Loved this episode. What you said about being kind made me think about something I sorted out a while back that I thought you and you listeners might appreciate. I decided to reduce the human experience to 3 basic parts. So here goes: Pooping, crying and losing your car keys. Allow me to expand:

    Everyone poops. This is a fact. If you don’t poop you die or explode. So this is a given.

    Everyone cries. At some point. No matter who you are. Even if it was only once because you pooped your pants. Thus connecting pooping and crying.

    Now, losing your car keys. This is just a metaphor. It represents trying to locate something you need to get where you are going. It might be car keys or money or guidance or a helping hand. Even an early primitive man was probably at some point running around the cave shouting “Has ANYONE seen my spear?? I am LATE for the hunt!” So what do people often say when you have lost something you need? “Man…. you are shit out of luck!” or “Well CRY about it why don’t you?” Thus connecting it to pooping and crying.

    So what’s the point? Just this.

    The next time you encounter someone who is desperately trying to locate something they need to get where they are going, think about the fact that they are probably not full of shit, dry their tears and do what you can do to help. Because at some point you were or will be in the same situation. We all poop, cry and lose our car keys. Lets be kind to each other. Oh …and don’t be dick.

    Love the podcast. Keep on keepin on.

    Enjoy your burrito.

  115. Jaye says:

    I just want to say that as someone who kind of lost their creative mojo for a while in the soul-crushingly boring world of adulting, I love hearing you talk about your creative process (even if it’s that you think you should be doing it differently). Knowing that people that actually make things I love go through the same doubts makes my little writing projects (which are happening again, thanks in part to you!) seem more doable.

    I am sad that you don’t feel welcome at PAX anymore though, because I actually discovered PAX from falling into a weird YouTube wormhole that ended up with me watching an episode of Acquisitions Inc (because, hey, that Wil Wheaton guy is in it!) and then wondering who the rest of the people at the table were. Have gone to PAX East every year since, and have had nothing but good experiences (and I may or may not be slightly older than you are). I think there are a lot more people there who are pro-Wil than you might think.

    Please making RFBs, I really look forward to new ones!

  116. Stacie says:

    I’m bummed for you that PAX wasn’t as enjoyable as it has been in the past (as a Seattle native, I’m extra disappointed). I’ve recently run in to “gatekeeper” nerds, and didn’t even know it was a thing until you and Chris Hardwick talked about it. Even though I grew up loving horror, Stephen King, and fantasy novels, I never considered myself a nerd. ‘Course people were to busy teasing me for my ridiculous height (5’8″ at the age of 11, and a girl, no less) to bother to notice anything I might be interested in. My husband introduced me to a much larger world of Sci-Fi, gaming, and cons! We’ve been a nerdy/geekly couple for 28 years. We really enjoyed The Wil Wheaton Project, and I enjoy Radio Free Burrito – so glad to have it on my iPod on a regular basis again. I follow you and the Mrs. on Twitter, and love seeing your posts about your pets. We have five cats (!), and I’m sure they’re upset about it, but I bought your new book anyway. Cried while I did it, because of the dedication, which made me miss all the pets we’ve lost.
    Keep doing what you’re doing – know that you’re touching people in an amazing way. I’m off to see if I can create a crochet pattern for something requested by a friend. Create, create, create…Oh, and Play More Games! 🙂

  117. Car2nGrl says:

    Thank you for recording this. I think we can easily get sucked into life’s negative pitfalls and it’s good to remind ourselves that we have the power to turn it around by not contributing to the dark void. You’ve inspired me to re-commit myself to finding better responses/solutions to the challenges thrown my way.

    BTW, as a 45yr old woman who was interested in RPG games as a kid but never played them, I watched Titansgate — first by myself and then later with my 10 yr old (who saw me starting the last chapter and made me restart the series so he could watch it, too ) — and loved it! Now my son continues the story on his own with his friends as they play after school (just using their imaginations) and I’ve started looking for RPG games that he and I (and most likely his 6 year old sister) can play while we (anxiously) await the second season of Titansgrave. (Any suggestions?)

    That said, even though I would love read some new stuff from you, I just wanted to remind you that your ARE creating/collaborating wonderful things (e.g. Titansgrave and this RFB episode) that positively influence people. So don’t stay away too long. :o)

  118. Nellie says:

    I loved this show. It was nice to hear you give Taylor Swift the thumbs up. At first I wasn’t sure if all the stuff I heard about her being super nice to her fans was her true personality coming through or just a clever marketing ploy. The more I see of her, the more I think she is one heck of a good role model. Not only is she genuinely nice, she’s not afraid to stand up for herself.

    BTW, I hope you realize what a good role model you are, too. You don’t have to be perfect to be a positive influence on others’ lives. Even just telling folks “don’t be a dick” gets some people who would normally be a dick to stop and think about their actions.

    ‘Sorry that you have to deal with haters. I deal with that enough as a minor (really minor!) local celebrity. I can’t imagine the what it must be like on your level. Just remember, as much as it sucks to be on the receiving end of their BS, it sucks even worse to be them. Can you imagine going through life being so unhappy with yourself that you felt a need to constantly crap on others in order to feel better? Yikes.

  119. Derrick Heard says:

    I actually enjoyed that you were there to help spoil bfz. From my perspective, your downfall was that you didn’t have an improv partner. I felt you needed another “professional” to make it fly. You were playing tennis by yourself.

    Anywho, just found your podcast and I am enjoying it. It’s hard to say why I enjoy it. Maybe it is because I too am trying to find my place in this world. I haven’t found my home; constantly searching.

    Anyway. Dude, give yourself more credit. People do like you. Don’t let the very small, but very loud minority get you down. “We” the majority just have better shit to do with our time than to get on some blog or twit feed to say bad stuff.

    Frankly, I don’t why I am writing this. Maybe it’s just exhaustion; ten hour shift and just got my two-year old twins to bed and here I am typing this while I am sorting my Magic collection that my twins destroyed in two seconds when left unattended. Dam you child!

    Thanks Wil and keep whatever it is you have going.

  120. Xeitgeixt says:

    Hey, just wanted to drop you a brief note and let you know to keep it going. I have a lot of the same struggles with anxiety and depression, and with utilising my creativity in a productive manner, and it’s really beneficial to hear about you kind of fighting through that yourself. I mean, it’s also great to hear about the music and games you enjoy and your family life, because obviously that’s the meat and potatoes of your show, but your opening up about your hardships in that area is just an added therapy-slash-ASMR benefit for me personally. Either way, hope to have more Burritos soon! <3

  121. Jodie says:

    Wil, I’ve been a reading your webpage/blog since before Dancing Barefoot was released. You are multi talented individual but more so; a damn fine person. You never fail to inspire me. Always looking forward to more RFB.

    P.S. I live in Little Rock. Imagine my surprise to see those old commercials popping up on here!

  122. Wanda Woman says:

    I just wrote “You Must Remember This” on a Post-It so I would remember it.

    Oy.

    • Jason Cooley says:

      Hi Wanda,

      As long as you didn’t stick it to your computer screen and leave it there for days, then all is good.

      I actually did the same thing for something else and to this day, I have no idea what I was to remember and it is still firmly attached to my computer at work. It now serves as a reminder of just how I need to be reminded ha ha ha.

      Thanks for the post. Made me giggle.

  123. Jeff Slade says:

    Thanks for the podcast recs, will check out Lore asap. Just picked up a DM guide for 5th ed so the potential inspiration couldn’t have been timed better!

  124. Michelle Garest says:

    Thank you for talking about You Must Remember This! It’s an amazing podcast! My husband and I used to love going to PAX, but in the recent years we too have noticed a change. We live in Maryland, and we would make the trek every year because it felt like home. We would even schedule our trips to visit his family (who live in WA) around PAX Prime, but it doesn’t feel like home anymore. We want to find another Seattle convention to go to. Are you still a fan of ECCC? Keep up the great work. We are listening 🙂

  125. David says:

    Really enjoyed the latest Podcast and was super excited to see it was a full one, although the not Radio Free Burrito were very enjoyable.

    You cover a wide spectrum of topics from your everyday banter, to deeply thought protecting insights into things, to just you walking around your house doing the dishes and it’s all excellent.

    Having read most of your books, listened to your various works in audio publications and your work in TV and films it always amazes me how one person can be so talented in so many areas, keep up the amazing work and keep creating… On a side note of your books I’m hoping to order a copy of “A Guide to Being A Dog, by Seamus Wheaton” and really hope you ship to England, it’s a great cause and I’m sure it will be a great read as well.

  126. Mike says:

    That bit about your feelings at PAX and the anti-gamer gate thing coupled with your initial topic about how Tailor Swift is treated shows that these things are really on your mind. You seem pretty true to yourself even if people don’t feel the same way you do on a topic, and that is mature. I didn’t follow the gamer gate argument, and from what I gather the initial topic for that was corruption in reporting even in niche media and how personal relationships affect that. I don’t get why that has to be a polarizing topic, but apparently it lead to a lot of people being shitty to women. Who could fault you for telling people not to be dicks to women? Maybe at that time your tweets just sounded negative if you were involved in that argument. Maybe I should (or shouldn’t?) follow you on Twitter and see how you come off there. Anyways, I love the show. I can’t find in on Stitcher, but if it was there I would listen more often instead of playing catch up every couple of months. Stay cool Wil! Oh, and wired apparently had an article about you because when I shared their article on Facebook about the new President of Nintendo, your picture was the automatic image that came up with the link. It looks really funny because it made it look like you were the president.

  127. Megan says:

    I know I’m a little late with catching the latest radio free. I tend to save yours or nerdist podcasts when I’m feeling especially down.

    I wanted to thank you for your honesty dealing with your anxiety and depression, also ending up with a career you didn’t necessarily want & how to navigate through that.

    The Internet is such a negative place sometimes. I’ve found myself defending Taylor Swift for example, since she just seems like an easy target for people to zero in on. It’s weird defending a popstar since I’m an aging metalhead/punk kid. But at any punk show you learn if someone gets knocked down, you help them back up.

    I was hoping to go to a pax (likely the east) at some point. I’ve only been to 1 convention and I was anticipating someone to call me out for not being fan enough. (That didn’t happen but anxiety is weird)

  128. Isobel says:

    Hi Wil!
    I’ve listened to the Burrito for a few years but I don’t follow the blog.
    I love episodes like this. I’m glad to hear you talk about what you’re thinking about and what’s going on with your creative process.

    My favorite RFBurrito episodes are the ones when you read something you’ve written and add some meta commentary. My close second favorite are the ones like this episode.

    I’m sorry if it feels like you’re sending these off out into the ether and you don’t get feedback. As a podcast consumer, I’m often listening when I’m occupied with something else and can’t take the time to stop and participate. Today I listened while cooking lunch now I’m typing while reading.

    I liked hearing that Leadbelly recording. If you haven’t read David Byrne’s book How Music Works, I’d recommend it. After reading it, whenever I hear an old recording like this I try to think about the context in which it was made and that gives me a deeper appreciation. I think it also has insights for other creative people.

    I also think the Memory Palace is fantastic.

  129. Abby says:

    Thank you for your honesty. This was a GREAT episode. You asked why people can’t be kind; I think it is because people are scared, and go through life in defensive mode. The GOP makes great use of fear because it’s always lurking. The way through that is by being honest and kind, so every time you do that, you make space for more people to show their vulnerability.

    BTW, love your books, your show, and I love games. I am one of the few women who plays Android: Netrunner regularly, and most players are former Magic players. I never played Magic, but that community does not have the best reputation for kindness and humanity. Many of them are dicks.

    One more thing: you can stop talking “old”. People age at different rates, and our society, sadly, stratifies and pigeonholes people too much according to birthdays.. To me, you are young. And I’m not feeling old. So there.

    Love you and look forward to seeing you at Rose City Comic Con.

  130. Chris Wells says:

    I’m a little behind with moving and starting a new job, so I just got round to listening to this.

    I have to say that it’s a great listen and you’re so open about stuff going on around you and things that affect you. It’s refreshing and you sound very genuine and different to when you’re on screen on things like TableTop. I imagine that since RFB is a more private project you can be a bit more “yourself” (I’m not sure if that’s the best way to put it, but I’ll leave it in there anyway).

    The part that really hit home for me was when you were talking about the need to create something and you’ve been saying you were going to but haven’t yet – I’m totally the same way. On my blog at the start of the year I said (and it’s still the only post on there!) that I was going to do something big. Well it’s now half way through September and I’ve not done anything big.

    I’ve been thinking for a while to write a short story as I’ve got a few idea buzzing around my head that I really need to get down. As a creator of stuff and things, how do you recommend getting that down? Just start writing or plan key points out and write how to get to them in a free-flowing way?

    Anyway, I’ve probably taken up too much of your time now, so I’ll leave it there for now…